Merry Christmas from our family to yours! I’m so thankful for every one of you who read along here. I’m praying the light of Jesus Christ illuminates your heart + home today, and shines brightly over you in the year to come.
Category: Uncategorized
five years old
You.
With all your laughter. With all your curiosity, your creativity. Your huge imagination. Your happy approach to life.
I just marvel over you. The unexpected and undeserved gift that you are and continue to be to me, to us, to this family. In a hundred ways, you are wild grace to me from the Lord.
You’re my first, and in basically every way, you pave the way. That can be a hard burden to bear, my girl, but I know the Lord equipped you specifically for that role. This year with you has been so full of change. You seemed to have transformed slowly before our very eyes into this grown up little girl child. Still young at heart and little, but different somehow. This year has been both death + life to us. In the very middle of the year, we found out about your diagnosis with Celiacs disease, which felt very much like a death sentence in some ways. Death to whatever was normal before. I look at everything basically though the lens of “that was before we knew,” and “this is after we found out.” And yet, that very same month, you so quietly decided to give your heart to Jesus. I was skeptical at first that you really understood what you were doing, but I have SEEN HIM so change you. How can that be? I can’t explain it. But a huge shift happened after that, and you have been such a conduit of grace in our family since then. I have seen Him working in your heart, I have seen you become so repentant over any sin, and such a desire for God on your own, independent of our promptings. How can this be for a four-year-old? I don’t know, I can’t understand it. But it is precious.
I love the way you pray. The way you run in at night to your sister’s room as I’m putting her to sleep, the way you run in to pray over her and to sing her “Jesus Loves Me,” and kiss her goodnight. The way you are protective over your brother + sister, and love on them so well. The sweet bond I see forming between all of you, even amidst the days where there is fighting and tears.
I love the way you put creatures to sleep in tiny beds all over our house and dress up in the most gawdy of outfits, layers upon layers of tutus and dresses. I love the way you still have to start the day with snuggle time with me first, and the way you don’t really feel like the day has begun until we’ve had that time. I love your love for books and stories. I love the way your coloring has taken off to a whole new artistic level the past few weeks.
You are hilarious and fun and I think you are a light to everyone who knows you. Which is why we named you Phoebe, our little ray of light. You are my girl forever and I adore you so much. I look so forward to all that is ahead in the year to come!
Happy 5th birthday. Now, how ’bout those birthday spankings!?
Love
Momma
yarn along
So I’ve begun on Noah’s first Christmas sock, most likely won’t be done by Christmas but still plugging away at it. I also burned the midnight oil last night trying furiously to finish these two knitted projects for Phoebe’s birthday (today), a scarf with this super soft purple yarn that she picked out and a knitted bonnet hat to match her sister’s. She was SO excited and happy when she opened it and told me it was “just what she wanted,” which can only make every moment of sleep-deprivation worth while for this momma. I just made up the pattern for the scarf, stockinette stitch with a seed stitch border and tassels. It still rolls on the sides, but oh well. She likes it! 🙂
I’m reading this new release by John MacArthur, Parables, and absolutely loving it. I’ve been studying the Gospels all year long and so I was immediately drawn to this as I have been loving meditating on the parables of Jesus in the Gospels. It is fascinating so far!
Here is the birthday scarf + hat:
Can I just say, I love knitting?!
(joining up with Ginny Sheller’s yarn along today.)
the boy is three
You’re such a stinker, my sweet sweet boy. My favoritest littlest man. I came into your room this early morning with a big number “3” balloon to wake you up, singing happy birthday, and you’re like, “No, momma! Don’t sing.” That’s so you. You don’t love the attention at ALL. You are such a quiet and tender spirit. You can be louder than both of the girls, don’t get me wrong. Never have I heard someone with a better ear-piercing high-pitched scream!
I say it every year, every birthday, with every child, I know, but I still can’t believe you’re turning three today. You changed SO much this year, you changed from being my baby boy to my little man. You are so tall, almost taller than Phoebe now, and definitely outweighing/outgrowing her. You love pancakes every morning if you can have them, or puffins if not. You love helping me make pizza so you can snack on the pizza cheese. You fell in love with Mater + Lightning McQueen this year, and the infatuation still stands. You gave up your bottle + after-nap snuggles this year. Now when you wake up in the morning and after your nap, you push away my hugs and kisses and get right to work playing. You love driving your cars and toys, laying down on the floor next to them so you can slowly watch the wheels turn as they drive. You were obsessed with the Christian Mother Goose cd, able to recite the whole thing with it as we listen. You’ve really started to learn and engage with our bible reading time, wanting me to ask you questions and explain to you like I do to Phoebe. You transitioned from crib to toddler bed this year, loving every second of your freedom to get in and out on your own like a big boy. We gave potty training a concerted effort this year. Maybe in 2016. You love for me to sing “There Once Was a Wild Little Donkey,” and “The B.I.B.L.E” (or “B.I.E.L.D” as you say it) before bed.
I love how when I ask you what you want or what you’d like to do, you say “Hmmmm…How’d about…” Or how you call the blender/food processor “the louder.” Popcorn is “pine corn.” After breakfast you tell me your hands are “stinky,” meaning sticky. In bed at night, you ask for a “speck” of water (sip). When I asked you what you want to do when you grow up, you said “go sledding.” You still get the hiccups HORRIBLY whenever I tickle you or get you laughing hard. One night I was kissing you goodnight and you asked me, “Momma, where is God?” And then as I’m answering you started sniffing and said, “I smell spiders.” Classic. Or how when you hurt something or we reprimand you for something, you always tell us “but that hurts my feelings,” pointing to some random part of your body. When I tell you I’m going to eat you up, especially your cheeks because they’re so full of juice you say, “NO! It’s all gone!” Daddy was teaching you how to put your own shirt on, how to look for the tag, and as you were putting your pants on you said, “But I don’t see the flag!” One morning you were coughing when you got up, I asked you how you felt and you said, “Berry Happy.” You are still super attached to your “dee-tee” and now “little mr. fox” and “big mr. fox.” You are starting to play with lots of imagination. I love when you are playing with your big and little tractors and little one is the baby and the big tractor is “tractor mommy,” and listening in to the conversations they have: “do you need to go potty?” “No, I don’t need to go potty.” “Tractor mommy! Tractor mommy! Where are you?” Etc. I love how one night at dinner you said to daddy, “watch your ‘tude, dude.”
Life with you is hilarious. You are quiet and mischievous and stubborn as all get out. You just recently started to ride Phoebe’s strider, after a year of trying to encourage you to pedal your “kykle” with your feet/pedals. Now all you want to do is ride the strider. If you feel like we are going to force you to do anything, you are afraid and dig in your heels, but if we give you some space and some choice in it, you will give something new a try.
We took you rock climbing for the first time yesterday to the indoor rock wall at the YMCA. When I was walking you into the rock climbing area, you said “I just want to go home and watch a movie.” Ha. Finally toward the end, after watching all of us climb, you decided to try bouldering around and were so proud of yourself.
I know this next year will be full of change. I know you’ll get the hang of this growing up thing in your own time and way, without too much force and pushing from others. I hope we can do the best job of guiding you and helping you and encouraging you as you go through this process. One night after I scolded you for jumping on me/hurting me, you burst into tears and said, “I just can’t be a good boy.” You are so precious to me, my little man. The truth is, none of us can be a good boy and girl on our own. We need a Savior! I hope and pray for you every day to love Him and turn your heart and life over to Him. I believe in your own time and way, when you’re ready, you will. I see in you such a kindness, a sensitivity toward the hurting and a desire to please God. I see you. I will walk beside you all the way. I will love you, even when you push me away. I will always be your momma + you will always be my boy.
I’m so thankful for you and the gift that it is to raise you and to love you. Happy 3rd birthday Noah-man.
Love
Mommy
oh, december!
Lots of life happens in this month! These are just a few random snapshots from decorating with the kids, which is more fun every year as they get more excited about family traditions, and a recent visit to a local attraction, the Biltmore Estate, with my mom. If only I could have taken pictures inside, it is so beautifully decorated for Christmas! But it was nice to just soak it in with the kids. I haven’t been inside the House since I was a little girl, what a crazy thing it is to visit and to imagine living there. The kids thought it was a castle, which it sort of is. I look at it differently now, after Downton Abbey. 🙂 Also, our weather here has been uncharacteristically warm, which we are enjoying but it just feels weird. I’m ready for snow and storms and blustery wind and knitting cozy by the fire. In the meantime, we are trying to play outside as much as we can and make the most of it.
yarn along
I have finished Phoebe’s second sock, just need to weave in the ends. Should I block them? I haven’t done that before but was waiting to weave in the ends if you fellow knitters would recommend blocking? Buying more supplies right now just makes me feel weary. I am super happy with how quickly sock #2 went, it gives me hope that I can finish Noah’s pair before Christmas. MAYBE even Philippa’s if I’m crazy. 🙂 I’m also making a big soft cozy bonnet hat for Phoebe with a pink pom-pom and tassels to match her socks. It’s the same pattern as this one, just white with pink. She has been asking for one for awhile now. And a scarf. Any recommendations for a good, fast, chunky knit kid scarf? I may just do a basic stockinette stitch scarf or something fast that I can have done by Christmas also. She already picked out her yarn for it awhile ago.
I’m still reading a couple of Advent books and The Things of Earth (slowly!) but have been quickly reading through Audacious by Beth Moore. She has been somewhat of a spiritual momma to me for many years now, and I will probably read anything she writes. I admit I thought this one might be cheesy (not sure why), but it has been dead on. The Lord has been using this one mightily to work some things in my heart in this season. I will always love that kooky Texas lady with the big hair. The fruit her labors have borne in my heart are immeasurable!
And here’s a picture of Phoebe’s socks, for those of you who were curious. I can’t wait to see her try them on! I’m keeping them hidden until Christmas, though.
Joining with Ginny Sheller’s yarn along today.
going on a tree hunt
Oh the agony + joy of attempting family pictures! And all the mommas said Amen.
A few years ago, when we were living in Brevard we stumbled across this little family-run Christmas tree farm right outside of town. It sort of birthed this dream in us to have a little place like this, a big white farmhouse, quiet hills with neat lines of evergreens where it could feel like Christmas all year long. Space to raise a quiverfull of children and maybe a handful of animals, space to tend the earth. I don’t know if that dream will ever be a reality, but every year since then, we’ve headed back to this little farm that reminds of and beckons us to the way of life we hunger for. If for nothing else, it reminds us of Eden in some way or another, a haunting for that good life that was lost, the good life that will be ours again in Heaven one day. A future hope that makes us smile and remember that while we are here on this terrestrial sod we are here to work hard, our time here is temporary.
We went again a couple of weeks ago with my brother + sister-in-law and niece, took turns snapping pictures of each other, and hunted for a tree. The owners didn’t mind us taking our time, traipsing all over their property with our photo props, and they even offered our kids a fun wagon ride behind their tractor! It’s well worth it to me to pay $30 for a tree to support this little place + family.
As 2015 comes nearly to a close, my heart is full. Though it has been a year full of challenges and stress and strain, I look through these pictures and feel immeasurably blessed. When I fix my eyes on these simple but profound gifts instead of the long list of things I could complain about or worry over, joy truly floods my soul. Nothing can touch the joy I have in Jesus Christ, nothing can ever separate me from Him and all that He has won for me and secured for me by His death on the cross. Second to that, nothing can come close to comparing to the profound depths of delight and joy I have in my little family. What a crazy good and wise God we have to come up with the idea of family!
I know so many dear loved ones who long for this and struggle deeply with loneliness during the Christmas season. Know that I’m praying for you, that I long for you to experience the joy of family this season too, even in the broadest of terms, even in the arms of your spiritual brothers + sisters, mothers + fathers, children + grandchildren. Ultimately, in Jesus, we enjoy “family,” because He is Immanuel, God with us. The God who is always there, always present, among us, within us. The kindness of our God: we are not alone! Praying He satisfies you with His presence this season + always.
yarn along
So I FINISHED my very first sock! I’m super proud and stoked. I have learned a lot of new things while working on this one, and I’m pretty hooked on knitting. I started the matching sock for it last night. I am pretty eager and ancy to get these done before Christmas and I’m feeling like at this rate I will most certainly not get everyone’s finished! 😦 Phoebe has seen me working on these, she sort of thinks they are for her but I haven’t said anything directly. Even this morning, Noah saw me taking these pictures and he was excited to see the finished sock. He asked, “Is that Phoebe’s?” And I said yes and he was so enthusiastic. I have been sort of thinking they won’t be that excited about these, but both seem super interested and excited that mommy is maybe making them something.
Also, I’m still reading a couple of Advent books, and working through The Things of Earth but this book has been a favorite of mine with to read with the kids this year. A library find, but I will probably have to buy it. It is set in the mountains where we live, such a sweet story of a humble family and hope, and the little girl is named “Ruthie” just like our little Ruthie (Philippa Ruth). I have added a list of some of our other favorite + treasured Christmas children’s books in my little book store (on the slide-out sidebar under “Recommended Reads”).
Joining up with Ginny Sheller’s weekly yarn along today.
pilgrims + feasts
Finally getting around to sharing some pictures from our Thanksgiving! It was a sweet time gathering with family nearby, playing outside together, watching nieces + nephew toddle about, and cooking, of course, all the women dancing in and out of the kitchen. These little moments, these are the sweetest things. The crazy wild gifts of our God. That we have each other! That we can gather! That we are alive! That we have warm homes, able bodies, full tables! And Jesus, best of all. Our hope in every storm, our confidence in every year, the only rock on which we stand. So very thankful for our bond in Him. Each year brings its own measure of glory + grief, and yet we are always, always rich in Him. Hope yours was lovely!
Listening for His Voice
“Stay dressed and ready for action and keep your lamps burning,
and be like men who are waiting for their master to come home from the wedding feast, so that they may open the door to him at once when he comes and knocks. Blessed are those servants whom the master finds awake when he comes. Truly, I say to you, he will dress himself for service and have them recline at table, and he will come and serve them.”Luke 12:35-37
everything He gives 