reading – Page 22 – everything He gives

7 Women

November 19, 2015 MarthaKimballLeave a comment

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I don’t typically pick historical or biographical books, it seems, but when Eric Metaxas’s 7 Women: And the Secret of their Greatness came up for review, I immediately snagged it. After reading Metaxas’s biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer last year, I knew I would enjoy pretty much anything he writes. His way of writing is very engaging, while at the same time being rich, heady and occasionally humorous.

In the follow-up, or compliment, to his previous book on 7 Men: And the Secret of Their Greatness, this book examines the lives of seven women who changed the course of history: Joan of Arc, Susanna Wesley, Hannah More, Maria Skobtsova, Corrie Ten Boom, Rosa Parks, and Mother Teresa. I was familiar with a few of those women, but really digging into their lives brought a whole new level of understanding. Each of these women were truly, in many ways, ordinary women who became extraordinary primarily by their sold-out obedience to God. Each women faced seemingly insurmountable difficulties: armies and the brutality of war, abandonment by husbands, great poverty, loss of children, loss of family, personal attack, slander, misunderstanding, false accusation, hunger, need, disease, racism, abuse, and the list goes on. Each woman’s life was, in its own way, extraordinarily difficult. Yet each persevered. Each chose to go forward in obedience to God’s call on their particular lives in faith and confidence in Him alone in spite of the difficulty + suffering that would inevitably follow. Each woman offered open hands of surrender to her Savior. Some received recognition + accolades in this life, though most did not and were not truly recognized as “great” until after their deaths. Yet each made a profound impact upon their generation and the course of history.

This is such a needed reminder for us today. I think many of us want to live lives that count, many of us want to be “great,” if we would be honest. But not many of us are willing to suffer. We desire to have the crown but not the cross. We forget that the cross always precedes the crown. We recoil from Jesus’ words: in this life you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world (John 16:33).

I highly recommend this read! It is one I will share with my daughters when they are older. It was inspiring to look at how obedience to God played out in the lives of a passionate teenager, a homeschooling mother, a prolific writer, a seamstress, a nun, a watchmaker’s daughter, and a twice-divorced poet + nun. It spoke to me of trust in the Lord in the face of affliction. It reminded me that the path of obedience will most likely be fraught with much adversity. Often I assume when I encounter resistance that I must have been mistaken in choosing this path, that maybe I have misunderstood God’s will. My natural flesh recoils at the thought of a call that might lead to my own death. It is good for me to constantly revisit this, to see it afresh in Scripture, to see it over the course of history in the lives of the men + women of God I so admire. I need to be reminded of these words from my Savior, especially in a day of ISIS and brutal attacks on humanity, a day where we can expect the hatred toward Christ-followers to increase:

“If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours. But all these things they will do to you on account of my name, because they do not know him who sent me.” (John 15:19-21)

Maybe not all great lives will involve great suffering, but all great suffering will be greatly used by a God who promises to work it all to the good of those who love Him.

If you need to remember that, if you need to preach to your own soul about the powerful work of God in a small, surrendered life, I think this book would be helpful to you! Readable, easy to get lost in the story, engaging, convicting, encouraging.

Thanks to HarperCollins Publishing for a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

yarn along

November 18, 2015November 18, 2015 MarthaKimball9 Comments

joining up today with Ginny Sheller’s yarn along to share what i’m reading + knitting this week!

I am still working on making a few knitted baby bonnet hats for some nieces + nephews, per request. I can’t tell you how much it means to me to be able to make something for those I love that they really like! For a stay-at-home-momma of three on a tight budget, it enables me to give a unique gift of value that is affordable on my part.

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This one I finished up for my nephew, being modeled here by my son. I’m also working on three more of these, and still working on some dishcloths. I’ve ordered some supplies to make some hand knit christmas gifts for my children, so I’m excited to get started on those + will share pics soon! Also, Phoebe has asked me to make her a scarf, and has already picked out her yarn, so I will be onto that soon too. Many things to keep my hands busy! I’m finding myself taking my knitting with me everywhere now.

Also, I’ve just started on The Things of Earth: Treasuring God by Enjoying His Gifts by Joe Rigney. This is one I’ve been dying to read for some time now, but have been busy with some other books. The theme of this book is one very close to my own heart and core passion, that of enjoying God in His good gifts, rather than seeing “the things of earth” as being far less important than the things of the soul + spirit. I’m hoping Rigney makes a strong biblical case for our finding God in the good gifts He gives us and worshipping Him through them. (I’ve written briefly about my passion for this here, here, and here.) John Piper wrote the forward and it looks a theologically rich read that I’m eager to sink my soul into.

yarn along

November 11, 2015November 11, 2015 MarthaKimball3 Comments

I’m joining up today with Ginny Sheller’s weekly yarn along, where we share what we’re currently reading + knitting. I took some of your advice, fellow knitters, and am working on some simple cotton dishcloths. It’s interesting working on increasing/decreasing, I suppose, but I can’t say I terribly love making dishcloths. It seems sort of a rite of passage though, as a new knitter, to make a stack of dishcloths and work on tension + consistency. Plus, I do need some new ones. I’m looking for a pattern for some cozy/simple socks for my kids for christmas. Would that be crazy to attempt knitting three pairs of socks in the next month-ish? I’d like to learn how to knit in the round. If you have any pattern recommendations, let me know.

Also, I’m over half way through 7 Women: And the Secret of Their Greatness by Eric Metaxas and, of course, really enjoying it. I read his biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer last year and enjoyed his writing style as much as the content. It’s a book I still think often about, even a year later, and this one will probably be the same. I’ve enjoyed getting to know more about the daily lives + history of women I’ve heard about but never really studied: Joan of Arc, Susanna Wesley, Hannah More, Saint Maria of Paris, Corrie Ten Boom, Rosa Parks, and Mother Teresa. What’s probably most interesting is the ordinariness of these women, who we often hold up as other-worldly, and the various ways they impacted their generation profoundly. I will review the book in greater depth when I finish it!

yarn along

November 4, 2015November 4, 2015 MarthaKimball5 Comments

I’m joining up with Ginny Sheller’s yarn along today. So, my first knitting attempt was a flop. I was using the wrong size needle + probably the wrong sized yarn, but I still learned a ton. For those of you who wanted to see how it turned out, here it is:

I could probably keep extending down the sides of it and make it into a real hat but that’s for another day. To redeem myself, I tried the pattern again with a chunky yarn + the right sized needles and within a day knitted up this sweet little hat for my daughter.

I still need to weave in the ends + attach ties somehow but otherwise it’s done + I love it! She seems to, also. My other kiddos all want one now. It’s a really easy fun pattern + I’m ready to try something a little harder! I’m probably going to try one other kind of child’s bonnet + maybe attempt my first shawl.

I am reading a couple of books right now, still finishing the last chapter of Jewel’s memoir + a starting on 7 Women: And the Secret of their greatness by Eric Metaxas. I’m really enjoying reading this version of Anne of Green Gables to my Phoebe girl. She loves a good chapter book with beautiful illustrations, and I love sitting to read with her when I can!

Yarn Along

October 28, 2015October 28, 2015 MarthaKimball16 Comments

You guys! I feel so cool right now. 🙂 This is my first time being able to join in with Ginny Sheller’s weekly Yarn Along! Ginny is a homeschooling, homesteading momma of seven, and a big-time reader + knitter. Basically, I have fallen in love with knitting via her blog and have been itching to learn. I’ve had a couple of attempts, but it finally clicked when I spent some time with a friend recently who taught me.

I’ve been working on this free pattern, making a little hat for Philippa and basically working on just my stockinette stitch. I think I’m about done + ready to bind off. Will post a picture of the finished product soon. And I’m officially addicted! Brandon thinks I’ve finally reached old lady status, but I really can see why people love to knit. So, if you have any free favorite knitting patterns for beginners that you’ve loved, please let me know in the comment section below!

Also, I’ve been reading this new release, Never Broken: Songs are Only Half the Story, by Jewel. Her music really spoke to me when I was younger, and I read all her poetry and was encouraged in my own poetry and song writing at the time. It’s been interesting reading more of her background and story, and at times it’s been hard and depressing. She experienced a way more difficult childhood than I had known or imagined, abused + neglected by her parents and basically left to fend by herself in the harsh Alaskan wilds. I have been saddened to see what she had to overcome, and yet surprised at how well she endured it, and how graciously and intelligently she writes her story. Also, sometimes we think people who have “made it” so successfully in their field, in her case selling millions of albums, have arrived there by chance, probably one day being “discovered” and everything going on smoothly from there. Reading her book reminds me that it is a ton of work, constant “trying again,” often overcoming difficult criticism and misunderstanding to continue to offer your art to the world. I’m not quite done with it, just the last few chapters left now. I’ve enjoyed it but I’m ready to move on to some other books I’ve put on hold!

Anne of Green Gables, My Daughter & Me

October 5, 2015October 5, 2015 MarthaKimball2 Comments

Fall is upon us here in the North Carolina mountains, and few things feel more appropriate than watching the Anne of Green Gables series all over again. I love to slowly work my way through them, doing a little needlework as I go (insert old lady emoji here).

Anne has always felt like a kindred spirit. That’s why when I saw Lorilee Craker‘s memoir recently, I knew it was a must-read for me. This sweet and happy book looks at what it means to be an orphan and what it means to be found, and maybe no one is as fit to tell us about that as Lorilee Craker. An accomplished writer, a lover of the Anne of Green Gables stories, an adopted orphan herself, and an adopter of a little ray of light, Phoebe, from Korea. (Yes, of course I had to read this, being that my oldest daughter is also named Phoebe!)

Using the story of Anne Shirley, Craker weaves in and out her own experiences growing up in an adoptive family, experiencing the beauty and tender ties of love in that home, growing older and seeking to meet her biological parents, finding unexpected glory and heart break there. She also connects these with her own story of adopting her daughter, Phoebe, from Korea. She connects the threads of these three orphan stories with humor, vulnerability and transparency. Reading this book definitely woke me to things I take for granted, such as knowing my family history and roots. Having a sister-in-law who is adopted and hearing her occasionally speak about her uncertain family roots, I realized how easily I brush these comments off without registering how huge this can be, especially as one becomes a mother. How often you must look at your child’s face and find unfamiliar features, trying to find connections everywhere to your past enshrouded in a quiet fog. Craker examines all the nuances of the word “orphan,” both positive and negative. It gave me a new tenderness toward those who can call themselves orphans, those who know intimately what it feels like to be rejected, left behind, bereft. It also warmed my heart to the beauty of what it means to be adopted, to be taken in and called blood by those are not your blood. I don’t know what it’s like to be an orphan, but I do know what it’s like to be adopted. The Scriptures tell us that those of who are in Christ (“Christians”) have been adopted into the family of God (Eph. 1:5).

In Craker’s book, you find yourself at one moment on the red roads of Prince Edward Island, another moment in the bustling bright streets of Korea, the misty shores of British Colombia (where she meets her birth mother) and the quaint walls of a Mennonite home in Winnipeg, Manitoba. Whimsical at times, haunting and heartbreaking at others, this is a beautiful story that traces the love between mother and daughter, a love that transcends blood and family lines, a love that ultimately finds its source and its home in Jesus. I recommend it to you as a lovely fall read.

Thanks to Tyndale Publishers for a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

for your Tuesday

September 8, 2015 MarthaKimballLeave a comment

“The discovery of God lies in the daily + the ordinary, not in the spectacular and the heroic. If we cannot find God in the routines of home and shop, then we will not find him at all. Ours is to be a symphonic piety in which all the activities of work and play and family and worship and sex and sleep are the holy habitats of the eternal.”
Richard Foster, Prayer

“Small things don’t always turn into big things. But all things begin small, especially in the kingdom of God. Acorns become oak tress. Embryos become President. Life starts with a breath. Love starts with hello.

Tuesday reminds me to accept the beauty of smallness, hiddenness, and the secret work of Christ in the deepest part of who I am. I want to let him come out of me in any way he wants, no matter how it may seem to me–whether that be in one big way or in a million little ways.

While I stay small in the presence of Christ, I’m aware of his invitation to me, to stand on tiptoe and see, as my dad often says, beyond what is to what could be. And this doesn’t mean I am to dream big and amazing things for God. Rather, it means I am to believe in a big and amazing God, period. I can trust him to be himself even as I dare to be myself.

And maybe as I do that, I’ll realize that starting small isn’ t a means to a bigger end, rather I start small because it’s what I am. And this is good and right and holy. Who would despise the day of small things?

As citizens of an invisible kingdom, we refuse to take our living cues from a world that say to build, grow, measure, and rush to keep up. Instead we take our cues from the new hope alive within us, from the life of Christ who has made our hearts his home. We’ll stop trying to keep up with the fast-moving world and, instead, we’ll settle down and keep company with the small moments of our lives.

We’ll pay attention to them, listen to what they have to teach us, not rush by them as if they are unimportant. We know better than that by now. We know the way these small moments link arms with one another to form the timelines of our lives. Moments: the keys to the kingdom. We know how we approach, consider, react, and exist within these small moments are indicators of how we approach, react, and exist in our whole lives. We can’t afford to miss them.”

Emily Freeman, Simply Tuesday

Deeply Rooted

September 2, 2015September 2, 2015 MarthaKimball4 Comments

I’m a book person. If you’ve read here for very long at all, you already know this. I’m also a mail person. I’m pretty sure I was the (self) designated “mail-retriever” for my family when I was growing up, but even today, I look forward to checking the mailbox daily. I review books monthly and love the surprise of finding some fun mail!

Somewhere through the tangled web of Instagram I discovered Deeply Rooted Magazine. I emailed the editor and asked if they would be open to sending me a free copy of the magazine in exchange for a review. She responded quickly and kindly with a code for a free digital download of the latest issue, Light. I settled in with a cup of tea + honey from my Grandpa’s bees in Ontario.

As I initially checked it out, being the resource dweeb that I am, it deeply resonated with me. There is a lot of fluff being produced in the Christian market, a lot of mediocre art. Sometimes it seems things are being produced simply for the profit that will be generated. Sometimes it seems like plain old materialism with a shiny Christian veneer. This magazine stands out as something different, a beautiful marriage between the heart, the soul + the mind.

Is there a needful place for such a work, you might ask? I love good, helpful resources as much as the next girl. I love beautiful art. I love things that have meaning. I think we need these “helps,” things that echo Eden to us: haunting photography, words that help us digest the Scriptures and see how God’s Word speaks to our present every-day lives. Recipes that encourage creativity and exploration and great enjoyment in food. I don’t believe the Christian life was meant to be drab and stark and void. I don’t believe our God is like we often assume or fear Him to be, asking us to empty ourselves of all desires. I don’t believe our God is so small. Instead, I think He gave us desire, He gave us hunger, that we might grope, that we might reach, that we might seek, that we might find Him, the satisfaction of all desire. While our desires can serve to stumble us, can lead us to all manner of idols, our desires can also point us toward Home, toward the One we were made for and all the ways He intends to fulfill us. I think of these words by Jonathon Edwards:

“The enjoyment of God is the only happiness with which our souls can be satisfied. To go to heaven, fully to enjoy God, is infinitely better than the most pleasant accommodations here. Fathers and mothers, husbands, wives, or children, or the company of earthly friends, are but shadows; but God is the substance. These are but scattered beams, but God is the sun. These are but streams. But God is the ocean.”

And these words by Augustine:

“This is how our souls climb out of their weariness toward You and cease to lean on those things which You have created. We pass through them to You, Lord God, who created them in a marvelous way.”

God has given us richly all things to enjoy (1 Tim. 4:4) but we are not to enjoy them as ends to themselves. I think as Christians we have often erred greatly on the side of safety here, being so careful to not overmuch enjoy the pleasures of earth and human life out of fear of idolatry or “loving the world.” What could be lost, though, when we stay safe + kill desire? Could it be possible that if we avert out eyes from all the “scattered beams” we miss the brilliance of the Sun? To be sure, we must be diligent to delicately protect our hearts and souls from entanglement in the things of the world, to keep our hearts from the subtle shift from enjoyment to worship. As much as we are able to enjoy a thing and find that thing pointing us to a greater and deeper enjoyment of God, that thing is serving its purpose as a scattered beam. It is a ray of glorious heavenly light, echoing of a far country, a Kingdom we were meant for, a life that awaits us, a Savior who alone satisfies us.

This is what I love about the Deeply Rooted Magazine, “a visually appealing Christian women’s magazine with deep, theological content.” A celebration of all of life. Piercing theological truth to exult your soul. Photography that moves. Color and mood and hand-drawn art as well as DIY projects. Seasonal recipes. A magazine focusing on all the aspects of biblical womanhood ranging from singleness to marriage, motherhood, child-rearing, career + vocation, and our individual place before God. Contributions from artists, pastors, and real women operating in various roles.

Their mission?

“To encourage, educate, and inspire Christ-following women into a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ so they may become deeply rooted in their faith.”

Here are some snapshots of the magazine via my screen (so, sorry the quality is not the best) and you can preview this issue in full HERE.

Deeply Rooted Magazine is a quarterly, 136 page* publication printed on high-quality, paper. The magazine is aesthetically different than other Christian publications on the market. Due to its clean design, high standards for presentation, and sheer amount of carefully curated content, Deeply Rooted Magazine transitions from coffee table centerpiece to devotional companion to go-to recipe and DIY resource.

Each magazine is divided into six categories expressing several of the different roles of womanhood:

CHRIST-FOLLOWER:Christian Living (The role of a Christ-follower is woven throughout all categories. These are relationship with God-specific articles)
HELPMATE:Marriage and Preparation for Marriage
KEEPER OF THE HOME:Homemaking and Recipes
MOTHER:Parenting
CREATOR:Artist Interviews, DIY’s, and Creative Living
INDIVIDUAL:Career, Health & Beauty, Hobbies, Service, Etc.

(This quote taken from their website.)

Each printed magazine is $20 and each digital issue is $4, and subscribers save $2 off each printed issue. This magazine is most likely appealing to the younger generation of Christ-following women, and to all who are young in heart. A beautiful work and one I hope to be reading more of very soon!

Simply Tuesday Party!!!

August 26, 2015 MarthaKimball9 Comments

So, this past weekend, this happened:

Yes, that’s right. For those of you who don’t know, that’s The Nester‘s white barn!!! I’m glad I took pictures because otherwise I might be tempted to believe this was just a beautiful dream. I won two tickets (for me + 1 friend) to this party at Myquillyn’s house/barn to celebrate the release of Emily Freeman‘s 4th book, Simply Tuesday. What an incredible and surreal experience this was! I wanted to take a hundred pictures but I also wanted to a.) not be weird and b.) savor this experience to the full.

My friend, Katie, and I relished the chance to pull away from our kiddos and make the drive from the mountains of Asheville, NC to… well, IKEA first + foremost. I mean, if you have to drive anywhere near Charlotte, NC you had best get yourself to Ikea! It was so much fun shopping with my friend and having time to talk and catch up without six little children running wild around us. We drove on from Charlotte to Midland, NC, driving farther and farther from the bustle and hustle of the noisy city + big interstates to the quiet and small country roads. Already we were feeling a welcome to “celebrate our smallness.” We pulled onto the property, marked only by a small wooden arrow with a breath of flowers and white letters spelling, “Barn.” Giggly and giddy we were joking about how actually sort of crazy strange this was and maybe we should just turn around and head home. We parked on the lawn in front of the Nester’s house, quietly freaking out in the car (especially when I saw Annie Downs just hanging out by the parking sign), directed to our spot by the Nester’s husband and sons.

It took a lot of brave to step out of the car into this evening. As much as I have been impacted and literally changed by Emily Freeman’s words in her last book, A Million Little Ways, as eager as I was to celebrate this new release and engage in the content, it is scary for an introvert to go to this kind of thing. Right away walking up to the Barn, Emily was there, chatting with guests. Her kiddos and husband were walking around. I think Myquillyn was the first to greet us and welcome us, pointing out bathrooms to us. We told her we couldn’t believe how brave she is to open her home to total strangers like this, and she happily told us how everyone they’ve met off of the internet has been wonderful. (You guys, they are the real deal. Just exactly how they seem to be on the internet. Isn’t that the best?!)

This is the moment when I started to feel my nerves melt away: when Emily greeted us with such exuberant and real joy, told us what to expect for the evening, and prayed over the meal we would share together, praying because “we all love Jesus here.” A breath of relief.. yes, we are all family here. There is already this “knowing” between us, this love of words, this love of our Savior. This desire for His kingdom come.

The Nester’s farmhouse.. dreamy and just like she shows it to be in her pictures (I don’t know why that always surprises us).

Dinner provided by this food truck, Small Potatoes, because of course. Small.

I’m thankful the photographer friend of Emily’s floating around that evening offered to snap this shot of Katie and I!

We gathered outside amongst cicadas and lightning bugs and strings of lights. Then Emily picked up her book and began to read about the Kingdom, about sitting in the presence of Christ in our smallness. This was the moment when I felt at home, when my soul began to smile and sing. Somehow in the odd peculiarity of it all, these are my people, this is my place.

Music fell over us from fingers strumming guitars, voices singing out about ordinary Tuesdays and the collision of the Kingdom of God with earth.

Then we lined up to meet Emily + have her sign our books as the light faded and night settled upon us. This was such a sweet moment, just a quiet and simple moment and yet heavy with meaning for me. Emily’s words were the ones that really set me free to dream and to live more artfully in all that I do. I told her this as we met and as she signed my book. Just a brief moment in time when you want to fill 30 seconds with a million words of thanks.

Then the awkward moment when Emily asked if we wanted to get our picture with her and I said “No, it’s okay.” I mean, really?! What is wrong with me?!! (Laughing) If you’re reading this Emily, YES I wanted a picture but I for some reason didn’t think anyone was nearby to take it and I thought it might be too dark? Sorry for the awkward moment.

(Yes, I asked her to sign AMLW because my copy of Simply Tuesday hadn’t arrived yet.)

For more info about Emily’s latest book (I am reading it currently and you won’t be disappointed!) click here for some videos and more info: http://emilypfreeman.com/simply-tuesday/

Also if you’re on Instagram, check out the happiest hashtag on the internet #itssimplytuesday, where fellow journeyers celebrate the small moments of our Tuesdays.

Thank you to Emily Freeman + Myquillyn for giving us such a wonderful evening, for sharing your gifts so generously with us! It was truly incredible to meet you both.

Wild in the Hollow

August 11, 2015August 11, 2015 MarthaKimball2 Comments

I devoured this book in the span of a few days. I won’t soon forget it and I won’t let it slip out of my fingers, either. Some books you finish and pass on. This is one to hold onto. This is one to linger over. This is one to read again, to muse over her words. It is at once memoir, liturgy, story, and song. It is doctrine and it is poetry. It is the story of one life interrupted and rescued by the grace of God, it is the journey of grace intersecting all things, the piecing back together of broken pieces into a masterpiece.

Amber Haines, with the voice of a poet and theologian, shares her story of “chasing desire + finding the broken way home.” How many of us cannot immediately find our place within those words? How many of us have not also run and found ourselves overtaken in the best way possible by the best love imaginable?

She begins with her running and her rebellion, shows how God met her, the “girl child from Alabama with mud in her fingernails,” on the linoleum floor:

“The first of many births I would witness was my own. I was born into light. I would have waited on that linoleum floor until I starved, waited there to be raised from the dead, or be made dead, whichever. I can’t explain the difference in what was happening in my head and in my heart and in my body. It was all taking new form. I didn’t lie down so that when I stood up I might believe. I lay down to die because I was done with moving about in a body that had no life. The fact that the presence of God was so obvious, like Road-to-Damascus obvious, was absolutely shocking to me. I had never felt so pursued or so loved, and love is what got me up off the floor. As my eyes came open to something so simple as love, that God loves me, I was overcome with new desire: more than for a warm body–for skin on skin; more than for the taste of home–biscuits and gravy on a family morning; and more than for any drug to numb my pain. I didn’t know who I was, filling with such delight, the allure of God. His meeting me on the floor was my release from being bogged down in self-awareness and loathing. He released me from feeling required to entice love, to always make an offering. I became aware of God. He was not only the one who hovered in the fog but also the one who loved me first.” (Haines)

She shares the journey: her marriage, the brokenness that threatened it. The children, the giving birth that almost brought death. The church, the exultant joy, the plunging despair. Abortion and affair, addiction and anxiety. The places Haiti and Tuscany both found in her heart, the odd juxtaposition, the beautiful juxtaposition. All the ways of finding home in a world where we are right to be homesick, where we see glimpses and shadows and hints of glory, but always find ourselves still somewhat out of sorts, still not yet home. And yet Home all along, because the kingdom is here. Already, but not yet fully.

I admire Haines’ vulnerability and honesty as she shares her story, which is quite different from my own, and yet I find similar threads of discovery and understanding between us. I so greatly appreciate her courage in sharing her story, the rawness and rebellion, as well as the redemption. Some aspects of her theology were difficult for me to ascertain, especially in the beginning of her book when she came off a bit cynical + critical about the church and even seemed to call into question the role of the Scriptures. Her writing is peppered with Scripture, however, and it was helpful to read her book in its entirety to see the peace she makes with the Church and the healing she finds.

You can see in Haines’ story the unfolding and unfurling of a soul as it is newborn, hungry for hind milk, tossed upon the bosom of the Church, entering wide-eyed and trusting, and finding over time the hypocrisy and hurt that the Church can engender.

I bristled a bit at this because we live in such a church culture where believers are calling the role of the church and the necessity of the Scriptures into question. I would always err on the side of upholding the Scriptures and the role of the local organized church. However, I think Haines’ experience is not uncommon, and I think the way the Lord leads and guides her through seasons of wounding and healing in regard to the Church is good reading. If you hang in with her story, you will see her “grow up” in her relationship with the Church and find redemption even there. Many wrestle with what it looks like to be in a community of believers because it is so imperfect and difficult. Many will empathize with her words, and my hope would be that they, too, will come back to the centrality of the Scriptures and the church in God’s kingdom work. I love her words about the Kingdom maybe the best of all, probably because the concept of the Kingdom of God is what I have been studying and learning about all year.

It is memoir primarily, not a theological treatise, and so I can appreciate the working out of her faith in the midst of a very real and messy life. The way we grow and change, the way we mature and heal and grow up more and more into the full stature of Christ as we walk with Him. I enjoyed her writing style, which is a more poetic style akin to Ann Voskamp’s. And I think many of us will find in her story our own stories of howling wild in the hollow places and finding the One who alone can fill the hollow.

Here’ s a little book trailer, too!

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Thanks to Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group, for a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions expressed are my own.

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