Uncategorized – Page 37 – everything He gives

three little pounds

May 3, 2016May 3, 2016 MarthaKimball1 Comment

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One of the things I love about blogging (but is also sort of terrifying) is that those of you who read along with me here are reading a story in progress. This story, my family’s story, the story God is writing in my life, through my life, it isn’t finished yet. I have no idea exactly where it is going, what turn is coming up next, or what is just up around that bend. This blog serves as a place where I can keep a journal of sorts of my family life, the growing of my children, the growing of my own heart as I keep step with Jesus. I try to be as genuine as I can be here with respect to the privacy of my loved ones, sharing what God is doing in our lives, simple and ordinary as they may be. I believe strongly that we are participating in the work of His kingdom here, in the safety of these four (rented) walls, raising up warriors, worshippers, disciples of Jesus. I believe He has given us this work for this season, and in the midst of a million ordinary moments, He meets us. While wiping a child’s tears, He whispers to me that a day is coming when He will wipe all of mine away, too (Isa. 25:8). While disciplining a child, He reminds me that it is the child He loves that He disciplines (Heb. 12:6-7). While cleaning endlessly, He whispers to me that my labor is not in vain (1 Cor. 15:58), though it feels vain when children muddy what was just washed clean. While growing impatient with the occasional foolishness of my children, He reminds me of His endless patience with me and my own daily and continual need for Him (Ex. 34:6). Wherever I see beauty, He sings to me of His myriad beauties, and reminds me that His invisible qualities are clearly seen in what He has made (Rom. 1:20).

Somehow, these ordinary moments become an avenue, a road, a confluence where the truths of Scripture and my own heart meet. Somehow, in His mysterious greatness, He can take what is ordinary and make it holy by His presence with me in it. Does that make sense?

Anyway, all this to say, I see the Lord at work in my simple days at home raising these precious children. He is working in me, walking with me, keeping company with me here. I hope to share that in the pictures, the moments, the stories that rise up out of our life onto the “pages” of this blog. It’s a story that is in the process of bring written, and that scares me a bit sometimes, not knowing what is up ahead or how I might be able to share that with you, my sweet few faithful readers. 🙂 It’s not a story I’m in control of, but I know His promise to me is that He will perfect that which concerns me, and my future in Him is sure and secure, even as the waves of my circumstances tumult around me.

About nine months ago I shared here about Phoebe’s diagnoses with Celiacs disease. It hasn’t been an easy journey. My soul has gone quiet in a lot of ways, as I’ve been processing and working it out with the Lord. She hasn’t responded quickly and easily to the diet change, as we had hoped, and so the work of finding how best to feed her and help her to grow, while gently working (with the help of a team of therapists) around her fear and aversion to food feels like it takes up about 80% of my attention. That is terribly wearisome sometimes, and being prone to fearfulness already, it often requires a lot of spiritual warfare to keep my soul in a place of quiet trust in the Lord.

All of this front loading to say, we finally have seen some growth from Phoebe, 3 pounds since February (!!!), so we wanted to celebrate and take her out for a special date with just mommy and daddy to a local restaurant, Posanas, that has a dedicated gluten-free kitchen. There are not many places we can take her to eat where we feel “safe,” and so this was such a treat for all of us. My mom watched the other two kiddos (thank you, mom!) so we could both go with Phoebs, as she requested. As we were driving there, she said, “This is the first time you and Daddy have both been with just me!” I sort of laughed because of course that’s ridiculous, she is our firstborn, so there were two years where everything we did was just with her. However, she’s right, we haven’t taken her on an outing alone with just the two of us all to herself. She loved it (and so did we)!

We don’t go to downtown Asheville too often, but we should! Look how beautiful this place is! It was a particularly lovely evening, and we thoroughly enjoyed our time walking around on our way to and from the restaurant. Phoebe ordered the ricotta gnocchi mac n’ cheese, Brandon and I ordered two appetizers (Prosciutto wrapped rabbit with a strawberry rhubarb sauce, and a different kind of ricotta gnocchi) and a gorgeous kale salad. Phoebe didn’t think she was going to like her mac n’ cheese at first because it looked so different from what I think she was expecting, and she sort of wilted and almost started to cry when it came. It was a brief moment of panic, but then she tried it and loved it! She was thrilled that she had a knife of her own and a real glass cup, too. The chocolate cake was simply to die for.

It was a special evening celebrating and thanking God for three more pounds, and for places to go where we can show Phoebe a whole world of foods that she can still have. We are really thankful to those who work hard to create delicious, kid-friendly options for children like ours with special dietary needs!

So for those of you who are following along, for those of you who have been praying for us and for Phoebe, I wanted you to hear and experience the good news along with us and humbly ask you to continue praying, if you so desire! We always have so much to be thankful for, and we ask God to keep us thankful even when we feel beset with groans and complaints and bad news. It is wonderful to see Him working and healing and restoring our girl, and our hearts are full of praise.

Listening For His Voice

May 1, 2016 MarthaKimballLeave a comment

God’s love is meteoric,
his loyalty astronomic,
His purpose titanic,
his verdicts oceanic.
Yet in his largeness
nothing gets lost;
Not a man, not a mouse,
slips through the cracks.

How exquisite your love, O God!
How eager we are to run under your wings,
To eat our fill at the banquet you spread
as you fill our tankards with Eden spring water.
You’re a fountain of cascading light,
and you open our eyes to light.

Psalm 36:5-9 MSG

let the children play

April 29, 2016 MarthaKimballLeave a comment

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“There is a little danger in these days of much educational effort that our children’s play should be crowded out, or, what is from our present point of view the same thing, should be prescribed for and arranged until there is no more freedom of choice about play than about work. We do not say a word against the educational value of games (such as football, basketball, etc.)… But organised games are not play in the sense we have in view. Boys and girls must have time to invent episodes, carry on adventures, live heroic lives, lay sieges and carry forts, even if the fortress be an old armchair; and in these affairs the elders must neither meddle nor make.” -Charlotte Mason (quoted in For the Children’s Sake)

“There are many reasons why children have been reduced to a point where they don’t play with joy, initiative, and creativity. Often so far as their personality is concerned they are wheelchair cripples, too disabled even for crutches. Restorative actions means scheduling time, time which is not obviously “improving.”…Certain factors encourage play. It is often easier home-based than institution-based. There should be space, and lots of free time. Children need to be outdoors (for hours). They need to make noise, mess, and to have access to raw materials (old clothes for costumes, hats, tables to turn into camps, etc.). They need privacy from intruding adults, but they need interested support in quarrels, thinking of another way around a problem, providing food, and, at the end, bringing the children tactfully back into the world where supper is ready, the camp has to be packed up, children are tired and ready for the soothing routine of evening stories.”
-Susan Schaeffer Macaulay, For the Children’s Sake

Our home days are my favorite days, “home days” meaning the days we aren’t running around doing errands, restocking our various shelves or visiting with friends. We love all of that, too, but we always try to have some uninterrupted hours outside, too. One rainy days, we go hunting for puddles and momma gears up mentally for a tub full of muddy, sodden boots and clothes for laundering. There are things that matter far more than a perfectly tidy home. I heard a quote on the radio this week that a perfectly tidy home is a sign of a life misspent. Maybe I’m just comforting myself with those words, but it is a comfort. Of course, I dream of a perfectly kept home, and there is a great value in a tidy and relatively neat home for providing structure, refuge, and sanity for the family. But there are more important things at stake than a handful of stray crumbs, cheerios stuck to placemats, laundry heaped clean in a basket. Children are growing up day by day. They need affection, affirmation, encouragement. They need eye contact. They need to be unhurried. They need spontaneity, curiosity, exploration, dirt and discovery.

And the reality is us adults need all of that, too. Having children is a very good thing for us “grown ups.” It is helping me to be a child again, to remember what a world full of wonder we live in. It is bringing laughter and silliness again, where once maturity and sensibility was so prized. It is teaching me, as C.S. Lewis wrote to his goddaughter in the dedication of his book The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, that I am “finally old enough for fairy stories again.” And I’m so glad.

I’m only learning, though, and often regress. I’m thankful for these words from For the Children’s Sake, and find myself reminded that children are born learners. Its often our systems and programming that bore them to death and teach them amiss that learning is a tiresome, bothersome endeavor. The reality is that if we take them out into the natural world, which is so full to the brim with curiosities, beauty, ugliness, creativity, function, pain, and philosophy, they are sure to find things that spark their wonder, and we can stoke the embers of that wonder into flame. We do that by getting down with them, exclaiming with wonder over their discoveries, asking questions and prompting their thought, finding books and videos that explore the matter further.

The geese on our nearby pond are nesting, and we just happened to check out a book from the library all about geese families. We have been checking the geese every day if we can, whether walking to the lake, or hoping on our bikes after dinner in the dusky evening to see if any goslings have hatched. I am learning wonder again, over things so small and things that didn’t matter much to me before. I am learning to notice again, to wonder and to find ways to see the glory of God on display in these small and simple things He has seen fit to fill the world with.

“For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world,
in the things that have been made.”

Romans 1:20

yarn along

April 27, 2016 MarthaKimballLeave a comment

I’ve been doing some “secret knitting” for my niece, her first birthday gift, so I have been mainly working on finishing that up. In the meantime, when I need some random quick knitting I’ve been working on some basic dishcloths just because I need some and it’s mindless and easy. Also, I shared in my last post some pictures of Philippa in her finished sunsuit, for those of you who were curious how it turned out and how it fit her. It was my first attempt at knitting a clothing item (besides hats and socks, I guess) and I’m excited to try more! I’m wanting to make some cardigans for the children, still hunting around for the right pattern. Any favorites/suggestions?

I am still reading through For the Children’s Sake and am really grateful for it. I need to read mothering/parenting type books frequently as it helps me continually to be mindful of the gift of this season of life and the responsibility I have to disciple these three little people under my care. Of course, this one is geared toward home education but I’m still finding it encouraging to me in my parenting as well. It is helpful in understanding more of Charlotte Mason’s methodology/philosophy, which I am very drawn to.

Joining up with Ginny of Small Things to share what we’re reading + knitting.

littlest sunsuit

April 25, 2016 MarthaKimball5 Comments

I finished Philippa’s sunsuit last week and was able to snap a few photos of her in it this morning. She seemed thrilled to put it on, this thing she’s seen mommy working on, and she danced around and cried, “ditty!” which is how she says “pretty.” I’m really proud of it, even if I made a few mistakes and learned some things along the way. Can’t wait to make more knits for my babies! The pattern for this sunsuit is here and the yarn I used was some leftover skein from Michaels, I believe the lion brand 100% wool but can’t remember the color way.

Listening For His Voice

April 24, 2016April 24, 2016 MarthaKimballLeave a comment

“Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.”

Matthew 6:27-33 MSG

getting out

April 22, 2016 MarthaKimball2 Comments

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Oh, North Carolina in spring, you steal my heart. That surreal bright green is creeping up the hillsides, popping everywhere. We’ve been gleefully spending most free afternoons outside, riding bikes, drawing with chalk, playing “bubbles,” as the kids call it (when I make bubbles for them to run through and catch).

The kids are becoming such little buddies, creating such a little culture all their own. I remember in my high school/college years I used to babysit for this family that I adored. They had six children, and they had such a unique and fun little family culture. The kids played these incredibly imaginative games, and I remember watching them with this acute longing to have a family dynamic like this, with children who love each other like this, who create their own beautiful little world together. I am starting to see it unfold between these three and it is heart-melting. I love catching them in their games. Noah and Philippa have this bond playing ball together. One of them sits on the bottom of the stairs, throws the ball into the play room, the other runs around and chases it, while they both kill themselves laughing. The other day I found all three of them on the couch trying to suck their fingers and twirl their hair like Phoebe does, in a row. Both Noah and Phoebe have this tenderness with Philippa, and lately I’m catching them holding hands with her and walking. Now of course, they all fight and hurt one another sometimes, but we keep teaching and nudging and trying again, and we are seeing more kindness grow. Even momma and daddy are working on gentleness and kindness. These lessons are learned over and over again, even as adults, because our natural inclination is to be selfish and often we are most unkind when we feel someone infringing on our space or desires.

Sunday was a gorgeous day here in the 80s so we retreated to the mountains, looking for a spot to let the kids explore and play in the water. We went up to a popular area on the parkway, Graveyard Fields, and played in the stream there. Brandon helped the older two with fishing. I tried to sit and knit for a few minutes but was quickly seen by Philippa who ran to me (totally soaked through) to snuggle, so that was that. I must have sighed with a hint of frustration (even though I adore her snuggles!) because Brandon looked at me with a smirk and said, “Stressful relaxing, isn’t it?” YES. It is so stressful sometimes just to try and go somewhere to relax as a family. Philippa insisted on “watkin” (walking) herself the whole time. They really are all such excellent hikers, and they love our Sunday adventures. Sometimes it feels like more effort than it’s worth to pack everyone up and get out into the mountains somewhere, especially with Brandon working long hours lately. But it’s good to just get away from our regular life for just a little bit sometimes.

I just wanted to say thank you to those of you who are reading along. It really means a lot to me that you’re here and just know I love hearing from you! I hope you have a happy and blessed weekend, wherever you are.

you get to be weak

April 15, 2016April 19, 2016 MarthaKimball1 Comment

“Here, you get to be weak. Out there you have to be strong, to rise up in the strength I give you. To be strong for your husband, to be strong for your children. To be strong for all of those who need you, who need Me in you, Me coming out of you.

But here, child, in the secret place of my Presence: you get to be weak.

You get to be held.

You get to be filled up.

You get to be ravished with immeasurable love.

I’m so in love with you. I see you in your weakness and dirty with sin — I don’t mind. Come here to me. I alone can wash you, renew you.

Rest now in my love.

Quiet in my love.”

yarn along

April 13, 2016 MarthaKimball15 Comments

Almost done with Philippa’s sunsuit, doing the ribbing on the leg holes and then just sewing on buttons for the straps in the back, then blocking. I can’t wait to actually try it on her. I’ve attempted a few times while it has been in progress but she’s so wiggly and impatient that it’s hard to see how it will really look until I can fasten it in place. It’s been such a fun knit! I could have probably finished faster but I got stuck picking up stitches for the legs and took a break.

I just started For the Children’s Sake. As I said in my last post, schooling is constantly on my mind these days and the rest of the spring and summer is devoted to reading and researching and prepping. Francis Schaeffer is one of my favorite theologians and I adore his wife, Edith Schaeffer’s book The Hidden Art of Homemaking. So I don’t doubt I will enjoy this one written by their daughter.

Joining today with Ginny of Small Things and her weekly yarn along.

spring things

April 11, 2016 MarthaKimball2 Comments

I’m behind it seems on posting lately. I’ve been dealing with some vertigo on and off and looking at the computer screen has been messing with my eyes and giving me a headache so I just haven’t been able to be on for long periods of time.

My youngest brother’s wedding was on Easter weekend so after we all got back home from Virginia, we had an egg hunt for the kids at my parent’s house. It was pretty special because we had *almost* all of the nieces and nephews together for it. We only hid a couple of eggs per child so it was kind of short lived.

These spring days have been so lovely. I’m enjoying this year’s spring more than any I can remember, I think. We’ve had some really warm days, lots of time to be outside and thankfully no mosquitoes yet. It’s been good to be able to throw the windows and doors open and have the kids outside more than in. Phoebe is bringing me bundles of flowers for my kitchen table or for her mud pies or bride bouquets. We gave them each some wildflower seeds and their own set of garden tools in their Easter baskets so we have been waiting for the “last freeze” so that we can plant together and see what happens. We don’t have a yard with much sun, so I tried to choose seeds accordingly.

I’m attempting to potty train Noah again, and this time my mindset has been different. He is just not going to get this quickly, and so every day its about doing our best and sticking with it and dealing with a lot of messes and laundry, but keeping it light for him. I introduced the kids to that old movie from my childhood, the Adventures of Milo and Otis and they loved it. They’ve been requesting it nonstop on the rainy days, in which they inform me that movies are the best thing to do. Philippa has been talking so much. Well, she’s always talked a lot but we are starting to understand her more. She is affectionately called the “boss lady” around here, and she loves to tell everyone what to do, though we can’t understand half of it. She is saying “nur-ning” for nursing, “naugh-knee” for naughty, and loves to yell “don’t touch!” or “no, no!” She says “EYE da-doo” for I love you. She loves playing “pee-boo” (peek a boo). She is observing all the potty training business going on and is very interested herself, and already runs to the potty if I ask her if she wants to try. She will probably be done by this summer, and its hard for me to imagine life without someone in diapers! Crazy!

We’ve been getting out on family adventures again, always so happy when the parkway is open. Last weekend we hiked up to a fire tower we’ve always wanted to check out, then had a picnic on an overlook and let the kids run around and play while I squeezed in a few minutes to knit.

Phoebe is not really napping anymore in the afternoons the last few months, though she still has quiet time while the younger kids sleep. She has a big stack of books and a doll and is content for a couple of hours, but I let her get up a good hour or so before the other kids. I’ve been trying to make the most of this time with just her, sometimes doing a little craft, having tea, baking something together, or doing a little bit of “school.” I’m trying to wrap my mind around starting school in just a few months and I don’t have it all figured out yet (ha!) but it’s pretty much constantly on my thoughts.

Anyway, thats a bit of our random current life lately. Off to play with the kids outside a bit before dinner!

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