yarn along

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I’m onto sleeves for Noah’s sweater.  I’m so enjoying this knit and can I just say the tubular cast on is brilliant?  But I’m also a little worried these sleeves are looking too big.  It’s weird to do a sweater this way, bottom up and attaching sleeves later and I hope it all comes together well.  I’m starting to think I won’t be done in time for his birthday, which is the 20th.

I picked up To The Bright Edge of the World from the library and am falling happily into this adventurous story of a Colonel in 1885 exploring the vast Alaska territory, and his newly pregnant wife who longs to leave behind social restraints and join her husband in the icy mysterious lands rife with wild animals and rumors of wilder natives.

I’m joining up with Ginny at Small Things for her weekly yarn along link up where we share what we’re currently knitting and reading.  Affiliate links included in this post.

we celebrate

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Have you missed my posts just about our ordinary days?  I have.  There is lots of writing happening in my head, so much writing, so many things being learned and processed, but so little time to put pen to paper these days.

My heart needed to reflect on a little celebrating today.  The day before Philippa’s birthday we drove my oldest daughter, Phoebe, to Brenner’s Children Hospital in Winston Salem, NC to their celiac center.  We are about a year and a half into this diagnosis and life change, but we haven’t seen the progress we should be seeing in Phoebe, and it is time for a second opinion.  So they day before Philippa’s birthday was spent driving 5 or so hours, and meeting with doctors, lots of talking about health history and numbers and bloodwork.  Ironically, the day before I wrote this post we spent driving back and forth once again to Winston Salem for a two-week follow-up.  The news about where Phoebe is and how she’s doing isn’t good, and my heart is heavy today.  More testing ahead, surgeries, biopsies.  More blood work.  As any momma will tell you, it is so hard to go through a thing like this with your child.  You’d rather it be you any day than them.  How can you answer their questions about why God has allowed this and why He doesn’t take it away?  These are the things that break your heart.

Yet squished in between these appointments and my momma’s heart revolving around all of this with Phoebe, a little girl turned TWO.  How good of God, how appropriate of God to call us to celebrate and feast and give gifts in the very middle of our hard moments.  He knows our form, He remembers that we are dust, He knows our frailty, and He knows that when we turn our hearts to rejoice and celebrate and feast, it really can tune our attention to all His manifold goodness.

And so, again today, as I try to catch up on pictures and happenings in our family, my heavy heart looks over these pictures of my littlest one and smiles.  She is such a stinker.  She was in the WORST mood OF HER LIFE on her birthday.  I have no idea why but she really may have spent every waking moment crying or whining.  We made her cake in the morning that day, then ran some errands.  I let Phoebe and Noah each pick out a dollar gift for her from Target’s dollar spot.  Noah bought her a little wooden firetruck, Phoebe bought her a few sheets of Elsa/Anna stickers.  Later they wrapped their gifts to her and made cards.  I really love encouraging them to give gifts to one another because as we all know, it really is better to give than to receive.  It’s so fun to wrap up a gift and then watch the recipient open it with delight.  And because what mother doesn’t shamelessly force encourage her kids to like one another?  After naps, Philippa watched me ice her chocolate cake with “spinkles” (her request–they tasted horrible) and licked the icing off the spatula.  She couldn’t wait to open her gifts once she saw them so Noah let her open his early.  Poor thing, having to wait all day for celebrations!

My parents came for dinner and we sang her happy birthday and had cake and ice cream.  She opened gifts, a rocking horse from my parents which she loved so much she didn’t much care about her other gifts.  Should have saved that one for last. 😉  We got her a set of little letter blocks, and a stuffed peppa pig that talks when she squeezes it because she adores peppa.  When she opened the sweater I knit her she screamed “NO!” and chucked it behind her.  But I still love her and she will WEAR IT ANYWAY.  As you can see, I forced her  she wore it happily the next morning and I snapped a few pictures of her in it.  Once in a better mood she has enjoyed it more.  It is a bit bigger on her than I thought it would be so I may be able to get two winters out of it (woohoo!).  I really do want to knit the same sweater for myself, such a soft and rustic wool, very warm and cozy.

My mom surprised the kids with a “singing machine” recently, too, and that has been the biggest hit around here.  She gave a new pack of Adventures in Odyssey CDs, and they have been listening non stop.  The microphone is making all of Phoebe’s dreams come true, and thankfully I can send them all to the basement where the cacophony is muffled nicely.

Anyway, I’m thankful that life is a peculiar mix of joy and pain, that God calls us to celebrate and rejoice over His good gifts even when we’re having a bad day or a hard year.  As I read in Ann Voskamps’ advent book this morning:

“Joy, which was the small publicity of the pagan, is the gigantic secret of the Christian.”
-G.K. Chesterton

There is so much joy to be had in Him even in the hard times.  I hope wherever you find yourself today, you can find your way back to joy in Him.  Our circumstances are unstable, as uncertain as shifting sand, but He remains unchanging.  Hallelujah!

yarn along

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Almost done with the body of Noah’s sweater and getting ready to split for sleeves.  I haven’t knit a sweater bottom-up before, so it will be interesting to do it this way!  I love love love it so far.  It’s different/challenging enough to keep me interested, but also a very relaxing knit, and who can’t love working with Brooklyn Tweed?  I keep worrying it’ll be too small but I *think* it’s good.  We’ll see!

Reading Come Thou Long Expected Jesus advent readings with Brandon in the evenings before we fall asleep.  I’m also still finishing up Missional Motherhood.  Needing some good fiction next, I think.

I’m linking up with Ginny’s weekly yarn along today, where we share what we’re currently reading + knitting.

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season of light

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It’s the season of lights, the season of looking, waiting, longing, expectancy.  For the first night of Advent last night we talked about this as we rolled beeswax candles and then lit them.  This song by Gungor + All Sons and Daughters ringing in our hearts.  Hallelujah, He is with us!  Be blessed this Christmas season, dear friend.  May His light shine so brilliantly within you and all around you and may you find Him nearer and better than ever.

(Beeswax candle kit found here.)

three books

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Moments & Days: How our Holy Celebrations Shape Our Faith by Michelle Van Loon

There seem to be an abundance of books published lately about time, our use of our time, what we say yes and no to, how overcommitted we are as a culture, about sabbath and white space and rest.  Van Loon’s book strikes an entirely different chord.  After reading her book, I am most challenged by her rendering of time, how it is not something that is ours to measure, but rather something that measures us.

“I’d like to suggest that our watches and Day-Timers and Google calendars are not the measure of our worth.  We who belong to Jesus understand (at least in our heads) that we are not our own.  Our eternal God has given us this slice of eternity, right here and now, in which to live for and with him.

Following a calendar that tells us our lives are not all about us is a powerful place to learn to inhabit the sacred gift of time.  When Paul acknowledged not all followers of Jesus see specific days as holy, he wasn’t suggesting that everyone in the church needed to hit the ‘delete’ button on the discussion (Rom. 14:5-10).  He was instead encouraging them to give one another lots of grace as they sought how to honor God together in community.  He never discounted the value of the weekly/yearly rhythm of holy days.  He simply wanted the Jewish and Gentile followers of Jesus to understand that the finished work of Jesus the Messiah fills full the meaning of these festival days.” (Van Loon, p.xvii

I was not raised in a church that practiced liturgy or observed the Christian calendar.  I am so thankful for my father’s strong insistence in teaching us that we are not bound to the law in this way, no longer bound to keeping holy days and feasts.  As such, I really had no familiarity with this way of faith.  My legalistic/perfectionist bent is better off for it, I’m sure.  I keenly remember my first exposure to someone who prayed through the Common Book of Prayer, a simple mailman who went to church with us, who carried a prayer rug with him in his mail car, who wrote and sang the most haunting music with his wife.  They sang at our wedding.  I found his habits strange, uncomfortable, curious–and yet he was a kind old soul and there was something drawing about his love of liturgy.  Over the years since then, it seems to have become more common to hear of Christians observing Advent and Lent and to hear chatter about the Christian calendar.  I have often been curious to do more research in hopes of understanding, and I have found myself hungry to observe the calendar with the wider community of saints.

Van Loon’s book is perfect in this regard.  Jewish by heritage, she came to faith in Christ in her teens and she tells a bit of her story of coming to faith, understanding her entire Jewish background and all of the feasts finding their fulfillment in Jesus.  She speaks about her intellectual understanding of the Christian calendar versus the experience of worshipping through it with her community.

The first half of the book unpacks the major Jewish feasts, explaining their history and how Christ is on display in each one.  For the Jewish people, “time was defined by seeing themselves as part of God’s eternal story.  As they participated in specific appointed times to meet with God throughout each year, they immersed themselves afresh in his story of creation, redemption, and re-creation” (Van Loon, p.17).

The second half of the book travels through the Christian calendar.  “Each day and season in the Christian year moves us through the main events in Jesus’ life and ministry.  But the Christian year is not merely an annual memorial tour.  It is meant to be a way to help us remember we are living eternity every day” (Van Loon, p.108).

She also includes a glossary of Jewish terms, side-by-side calendar comparisons, recipes commonly associated with the feasts, and a thick list of resources for further study.

I found her book to be incredibly insightful, whetting my appetite for further study and for further experience.  Well-written, engaging, historical, Christ-exalting, revealing the ties that bind us together in the body of Christ, her book is one I highly recommend.  It will be one I refer back to frequently!  I just picked it up again to refer back to her notes on the Advent season, as that is now upon us.

Crossing the Waters: Following Jesus Through the Storms, the Fish, the Doubt, and the Seas by Leslie Leyland Fields

I read Surviving the Island of Grace by Fields earlier this year and so enjoyed her memoir of her early days meeting her husband and finding her way into a life as a commercial salmon fisherwoman in the wilds of Alaska.  When I saw that she was publishing a new book, I squealed with glee.  Her writing is quite engaging, often rooted in landscape, honest, raw, and resonating with the human experience.  This one particularly caught my attention because I have recently finished a slow two-year personal study through the four Gospel accounts, a searching for a fresh encounter with Jesus.  It also caught my attention because this past year, 2016, has been a year themed with “water.”  In early January the Lord specifically gave me Psalm 93 as an anthem over the year, and I have referred back to it countless times.  It has been a good year in many respects, but also incredibly difficult in others.  It has been a great comfort to remember that the Lord told me ahead of time it would feel as though the waters were going to overtake me.  Yet, He sits above the waters and is mightier than them.

So, the fact that this book was about journeying through the Gospels specifically with an eye to the theme of “waters,” had me.  I was not disappointed!  Fields’ writing was as interesting as ever, weaving together seamlessly her own rich understanding of a life on the water, her personal journey through the Promised Land, and her retelling of the biblical account of Jesus’ life in that same landscape.  She unpacks and brings life to biblical stories that have become, perhaps, common and stale to the seasoned student of scripture through her unique lens as a fisherwoman.  She makes you feel the weight of the nets in your own hands, the sharpness of the salt air, the whip of wind and lurch of skiff.  I found myself in her questions and doubts as well as in her discoveries and worship.

As soon as I finished it I wanted to start it all over again.   Highly, highly recommend.

Has Anyone Ever Seen God? 101 Questions and Answers about God, the World, and the Bible by Carolyn Larsen

This quaint little book is of a devotional nature, yet organized as Q + A.  With attractive design and beautiful illustrations, it asks 101 questions such as:

  • What (or who) is the Holy Spirit?
  • Is there anything God can’t do?
  • Does God speak to people today?
  • Why did God make spiders, snakes, and other creepy things?
  • Why were the Israelites God’s chosen people?
  • Why does God sometimes seem to hide?

The author then answers these questions simply and biblically, with a scripture reference at the bottom of each page.  As you can see, the questions range from theological to practical in nature.  I think it is a great little gift book for anyone coming of age in their faith, a new believer, someone curious about the Christian faith.  Though not terribly depthy, it may whet the appetite and open avenues of conversation or further study.  It is part of a trilogy of similar books, the others being Can I Really Know Jesus, and What Does God Really Promise.

It would be a great book to tuck at your child’s bedside, or give a copy to a curious neighbor along with some fresh baked goods.

*

With warm thanks to Tyndale House Publishers for their complimentary copies of these books in exchange for my honest review.  All opinions expressed are mine.

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yarn along

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I cast on for Noah’s birthday sweater on Sunday to have it ready for our long day of driving on Monday, taking Phoebe 2.5 hrs away to Brenner Children’s Hospital to their celiac center.  She has hit a more major setback in her healing and our medical team locally is recommending we go to the experts.  It is good for me to keep my nose in the books and my hands busy with gift knitting.  I learned how to knit about a year ago, and I am pretty sure I have knitted every day since learning in October of 2015.  It has now become so much a part of my evening routine that it’s hard to remember what I did before.  I am so thankful for it.

Anyway, I am knitting the Wyatt sweater for Noah in Brooklyn Tweed Shelter.  I have hit the point where the pattern is established and it’s now just about 10 inches of knitting ahead.  I love this yarn.  I still need to finish the hood on Phoebe’s sweater and order buttons for both of them, but I wanted to get going on Noah’s sweater as the pattern is more difficult and his birthday comes a few days sooner than Phoebe’s.

I’m still reading Missional Motherhood and on the last chapter or so of Hope Heals, both so good.  The kids and I are addicted to chapter book read aloud time together.  I love that Noah is joining in on it, and because the kids cheer so when I say it’s time to read, Philippa is getting in on the fun, too.  We usually read all together after lunch and before naps/quiet time, so Philippa lays on me some days and sucks her thumb quietly and listens to the chapter book after we read picture books.  We finished Island of the Blue Dolphins recently  which we all enjoyed, and didn’t realize it is based on a true story.  Phoebe has been playing that she is Karana ever since.  We started My Side of the Mountain, which they are enjoying.  I couldn’t resist also starting Little Women with Phoebe, since it is that time of year when I watch the movie over and over again.  I have never read the book though, as far as I can remember, and it is delicious.  It’s so fun to share these things with my girl!

I’m joining up with Ginny Sheller’s yarn along today.
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for my feisty girl

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Two years ago today, this little feisty bundle with a shock of black hair came into our lives. You looked at me fiercely with grumpy little eyes when I first looked at you, already trying to boss me around.  You wanted to nurse and you wanted it NOW.  You haven’t stopped bossing since.

Philippa, you are full of vim and passion and zest for life.  You love a good party, and you love to make everyone laugh.  At two years old you now have a head full of white blonde hair.  In the mornings I hear you yelling, “Mom!  Momma!” from your crib when you’re ready to get up.  You come running out and there’s no time for snuggling.  Quickly you busy yourself playing with brother or sister.  You love “can-cakes” for breakfast and you call your water bottle your “coffee.”  You love to go outside and “ho-high” on the swing all by yourself, pushing away our hands if we try to help you on the stairs.  The best moments are when you grab my face with your chubby hands and turn it roughly to the side so you can plant a big “tiss” on my cheek.  Or when you wrap your squishy arms around my neck and say “hold on ti-ight!”  Your snuggles are far and few between, but they are truly the best and your daddy and I live to sneak them in.  Whoever you have in the moment is your favorite and you couldn’t possibly even deign to look at the other parent.

I miss our nighttime nursings, but love that we’ve traded them in for rocking in the chair, reading board books that you toddle over to me, while you suck your thumb and we sing hymns and little songs that you love.  I love, love to hear you pray–“Dear Gah.. thank you for Noah” you always start with.

If you can’t tell, sweet girl, your daddy and I are just smitten with you.  You can be feistier than Phoebe and Noah combined, if you want to be, but you are just as capable of equal measures of sweetness.  Today at two years old, you have been grumpier than usual, and I wonder if we are entering those “terrible twos,” but thankfully, we have had a go at this twice before.  We engage it with a lot more laughter this time around and hopefully a lot more grace.  That’s the benefit of being baby #3.

We love you so so much, precious little biddle-e-dee, and always will forever and ever no matter what.  You are one of the greatest treasures + joys of our earthly lives.  We pray for you every day to know Jesus and love Him and use all your passion and headstrong ways for His name and His kingdom.  We can’t wait to see what this next year holds in store for you and we hope you have a very happy birthday!

Love,

Momma

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november light

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Thousands of acres of forest are on fire here in NC.  The air is acrid and dry and we’ve been staying inside more than usual.  The smoke seems to have blown in again today and our throats feel dry and scratchy.  It’s hard to stay inside when the weather and light is so beautiful these early November days.  The smoke makes everything hazy and makes the sunsets brilliant, and yet I can’t quite feel that it’s pretty, knowing so much of the state is burning, and we have yet to see any rain.  We keep praying.

Yesterday it seemed to clear a bit and we walked down to our little neighborhood lake and explored in the last light of the day.  Everything looks so different,  open and quiet now that most of the leaves have fallen.  I sort of love when the colors fade to shades of gray and brown.  It feels like a clean slate.

It’s been a busy week of running around + unexpected interruptions.  We’ve been looking to buy a home (our first) since early summer, and we are still looking for the right place.  It fills most of the nooks and crannies in our schedule, and proves to be a pretty emotionally charged experience.  Often draining–both because of the work that goes into hunting, seeing homes with kids in tow, getting excited and disappointed, looking again another day.  We know God will provide in His time and way, and we look eagerly for it.  In the meantime, I really am content right where we are.  I feel wildly graced with the life I have been given.

But the pace this week has been wearing me out.  When I feel all hustly and stretched too thin, it does something in me to just grab my camera and go for a walk with the kids in our neighborhood.  There’s something grounding in it.  I’m so thankful for where we live and so happy here, it is quiet and peaceful and feels mostly empty.  Our neighbors tend to be retirees.  Putting feet to the ground around my home, paying attention to the changes in the season, the critters preparing for winter, the geese that have flown off our lake and south for the winter–it helps to quiet me and settle me and return me to myself, somehow.  It helps me to see my life with new eyes.

It’s hard to believe we are almost done with our first “semester” of school, Phoebe and I.  She has done so well, and we’ve both learned a lot in the process.  I love it and I think she does, too, though it fills up a good chunk of our week.  (It’s still far less than putting her in public school.)  I’m excited to take an extended break for the holidays soon and regroup.  She is already beginning to read, which feels like a big accomplishment to me in only a few months of work.  She absolutely amazes me with her curiosity, hunger, aptitude and ability.  She is a voracious learner.  She would sit and read books with me all day, and loves learning about anything and everything.  I think it’s very satisfying for her to have a structured time of learning.  I hope things stay this way and she always loves learning.

I’ve been furiously knitting, finishing up Philippa’s sweater (her birthday is in a few days).  It’s taken about 3 days to dry and I plan to weave in ends and wrap it up tonight.  I absolutely love it and hope she does, too.  She snuck a peek at it while I was blocking it, but she doesn’t really know it’s for her.  It’s so squishy and soft and nubbly and I want to knit one in my size.  I finished my first pair of mittens for myself last weekend while I was away at a hermitage.  I started the second mitten and didn’t stop knitting until it was finished, basically, within an hour or so, and that was really rhythmic and satisfying.  I’m thoroughly addicted to this craft.  Phoebe has been asking me to teach her and she is quite engrossed, also.  I think she feels quite grown up, sitting next to me, the both of us knitting, like we are sharing a secret.  She can’t get far past one or two rows before knots and slipped stitches, but she is watching me knit with a different sort of interest now and I know this will be something we will share in the future.

Brandon and I snuck away for a couple hours the other evening to do a bit of birthday/Christmas shopping for the kids, particularly looking for a little toy or something for philippa to go along with her sweater.  We had such a good time together and always have a BLAST shopping for the kids.  So much laughter and silliness and it felt like a date.

We visited my good friend this week to see her new baby, and take them a few snacks.  The kids have so much fun playing together and it was good for my friend and I to just keep company.  I snapped a few photos for her of the baby.  I love him already.  Its wonderful to be around a newborn again.

yarn along

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I don’t have a minute to spare but I can’t resist popping in here for a minute to say hello!  I went away for the weekend to a hermitage for some rest + solitude, and I hoped to get more knitting done than I did.  I have finished Philippa’s birthday sweater, and it is blocking now, so it will be done in time for her birthday next week.  I’m debating about casting on a little crown for her, too?  Am I crazy!?

I finished the first sleeve on Phoebe’s birthday sweater, and maybe half way through the second sleeve.  Then the hood, blocking, sewing on buttons and it will be done!  I’m already gauge swatching for Noah’s sweater.  (Both have birthdays the week of Christmas.)  Busy, busy.

I began Hope Heals during my hermitage stay and just read luxuriously for hours on end.  My sister-in-law sent it to me as a gift.  Almost done with it!  Quite the compelling story of a young woman in her late twenties and first years of marriage and motherhood suffering a massive stroke, miraculously surviving, and her journey to recovery.  It’s written by both her and her husband, each telling their parts of the story.  Beautiful and hopeful for me in a season with my own girl and her health issues, our continued battle for answers and hope.  I need to remember that there really is power in hope.

Linking up with Ginny’s weekly yarn along to share our current knits + reads.
Affiliate links included in this post.

yarn along

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I put all other knitting aside to try to get Philippa’s sweater finished in time for her birthday in a couple of weeks.  We have a lot going on right up until her birthday which is the week of Thanksgiving.  I think I will actually finish in time!  I have really loved this sweet and easy chunky-knit pullover sweater for her, knit in Brooklyn Tweed Quarry.  I think it will be so cozy and sort of wish I could make one for myself.

I’m still reading Missional Motherhood by Gloria Furman and enjoying it so far!

I’m linking up with Ginny Sheller’s yarn along today.  

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