everything He gives

For the Broken Ones

September 28, 2014September 28, 2014 MarthaKimballLeave a comment

For you who feel alone:

He can find you.

“Now the Angel of the Lord found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, by the spring on the way to Shur. And He said, ‘Hagar, Sarai’s maid, where have you come from, and where are you going?'” {Genesis 16:7-8}

For you Hagars: the cast out, the used up, the sin-broken, the sin-sick, the undeserving, the unwanted, the rejected ones, the forgotten ones.

“The Lord has heard your affliction.” {Genesis 16:11}

He cannot resist the broken ones, the searching ones, the lost ones. The unseen ones.

“Then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, You-Are-the-God-Who-Sees; for she said, ‘Have I also here seen Him who sees me?'” {Genesis 16:13}

He sees you today. He knows you. He foreknew you.

“For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.” {Psalm 139:13-16}

You, His marvelous work. His masterpiece. Does your soul know it very well? Present with you from the moment of your conception, your genesis, your beginning. Delighting over you. Singing over you. Knitting you together. Writing out the story of all of your days. Yes, He saw you then. He knew you then.

“Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?” {Psalm 139:7}

And why would I ever want to, God? There is no shame in Your presence. There is only fullness of joy. Because You are the God who sees, the God who saw me before any other, who knew my days and knew all my faltering and failing, and still said “Yes” to me. Still choose me, set me apart. Still said “No” to Jesus {Mark 14:36} so You could say “Yes” to me. To fellowship with me. To unbroken presence with me.

“When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
The moon and the stars, which You have ordained,
What is man that You are mindful of him,
And the son of man that You visit him?” {Psalm 8:3-4}

This sky that takes my breath away, You breathed it into existence.

The star-breathing God, the One who made all this glory.. what is one small man, one small woman, that You are mindful of us? Mindful. Mind full.. of us. Who are You, that You are mindful of me?

This is our God.

This is my God.

I worship You today.

Making Time for Family Time

September 24, 2014 MarthaKimball3 Comments

A couple weeks ago, Brandon suggested that we take the kids to a local little wildlife park called the Nature Center. Even though we had just moved and *really* needed to do some work unpacking, we decided we would all probably like each other more at the end of the day if we took a few hours and did something fun. {We tackled some unpacking once kids were down for naps after lunch.} I am so glad we did! It is always a treat to treat the kids, always a joy to see their joy in exploring their world. And we love taking advantage of whatever fun spots our little town offers.

{Sorry for some blurry pics. Brandon gave me a new lens for my birthday and I’ve been forcing myself to leave it on the camera full-time so I practice using it.}

^ Looking for turtles. ^

^ Checking out the raccoons. This guy. He is such a great hubby + dad. He carried my 500 lb hot pink bag, and often a kid or two. I’m really, really thankful him. He loves animals maybe more than the kids, so he’s like a big kid himself. ^

^ We loved all the lofted bridge trails in the trees! ^

^ Brandon took this one. It’s out of focus, but it’s the only one of kids + I from the day. ^

^ Timely spot for a little snack break and monkeying around to burn off some energy. Then, onto the bobcats + cougars. ^

^ The otters were Noah’s absolute FAVORITE. He was screaming and going nuts whenever they’d swim up to the glass. ^

P on the otter-slide and then to the petting farm to brush the goats.

He also loved this. So much. He has such a sweet little nurturing side. And then, of course, the tractor. Maybe that was his favorite.

^ Unfortunately, not a single shot capturing his glee was in focus. But at least I captured the spider web.. right?! ^

Work on the farm for the little farm hands:

For Phoebe the biggest highlights, though she was half-terrified, were seeing the wolfies and the bears. By the end of our couple of hours, the kids were exhausted. And they took GREAT naps. Win/win.

These kind of outings are so good for Brandon and I. To just make time for family time. There is the temptation to work without ceasing, as there is always, ALWAYS, work to be done. But it’s part of something we’re wrestling through and learning lately: recreating together in some form draws us back together after a week of busyness and the mundane. It “re-creates” us, in a sense, as a family. Choosing to set aside worry and stress and just remembering how to be like children, to enjoy this world that God has made, to look for glimpses of His character and His fingerprints on all He has made, and to set aside the rush and hurry to just slow and enjoy. It is part of what rests our souls and helps us see and remember how much we love each other and the gift God has given us in giving us LIFE, and life together.

Stopping the frenetic pace so we can savor. This is my goal lately!

Worry is Replaced by Worship

September 14, 2014September 14, 2014 MarthaKimballLeave a comment

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t there more to life than food and more to the body than clothing?

“Look at the birds in the sky: They do not sow, or reap, or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you more valuable than they are? And which of you by worrying can add even one hour to his life?

“Why do you worry about clothing? Think about how the flowers of the field grow; they do not work or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his glory was clothed like one of these! And if this is how God clothes the wild grass, which is here today and tomorrow is tossed into the fire to heat the oven, won’t he clothe you even more, you people of little faith?

“So then, don’t worry saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ For the unconverted pursue these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But above all pursue his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. So then, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own.”

{Matthew 6:25-34 NET}

Worry robs us of joy.

Worry reveals that to our deepest core we believe God is not good, He will not come through.

“He is able, and He is present, and He is good. Worry is replaced by worship. And it may be that you have to sing all day long. It may be that you have to worship all night long. But you have the power in your mouth to proclaim what you see and hear of the One who killed your giant. And as you worship Him, worry doesn’t have room to take up a foothold in your heart and in your life.” {Louie Giglio}

Weekends are for…

September 13, 2014 MarthaKimballLeave a comment

Stealing away with family to a nearby lake.
Potluck picnic in the rain.
Nieces holding hands with uncles.
First swims in a cold lake.
Boat rides.
Rest and conversation.
Swimming with grandpa.
First bee stings on tiny fingers.
Laughter.

Happy Weekending!

Going, Going.. Gone!

September 12, 2014September 12, 2014 MarthaKimball1 Comment

So.. we moved! The dust has settled for a bit on the blog, but life has been full and busy with packing/unpacking, relocating and getting to know a new side of town. We are loving many of the perks of our new home, namely, being a little closer to family! And.. well.. these book shelves:

Yes.

Anyway, just wanted to say hello (to my 5 readers, hey mom and dad!) and hope to get back to writing soon. Lots of words bumbling around in my soul, not a lot of time to write them.

Talk soon!

Loving where you live

August 24, 2014August 25, 2014 MarthaKimballLeave a comment

Last Sunday afternoon we were aching for some time in the quiet of wilderness and some time at a lake. In Brevard, our backyard is Pisgah National Forest and DuPont State Park, some of the most gorgeous areas in Western NC. We hiked (walked, really) out to Lake Julia in DuPont for the afternoon, bringing a picnic dinner. It was so lovely, quiet, peaceful. Our recent weeks have been busy and harried with moving preparations, and it is so good for us as a family to reconnect in the outdoors, the avenue through which Brandon and I fell in love in the first place. We hope to pass onto our kids our love for God’s creation. No matter where you live, it’s important to find fun ways to get out and explore it and enjoy it! And here, in these beautiful North Caroline mountains, there are certainly no shortages of beautiful and accessible getaways. Here are a few snaps I took from our time together, marveling over the simple but profound gifts God has given us. This wild beauty. These precious children. Their unique ways and personalities. The bond between them. Able bodies. The uncertain road before us. Journeying through it all together. The Gospel that makes sense of everything and gives us rest every day, a foretaste of glory now. Unspeakable joy, unfathomable grace.

“Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life.”
{Psalm 23:6 MSG}

Living in the Midst of Boxes

August 20, 2014August 20, 2014 MarthaKimball1 Comment

Just an ordinary, quiet dinner this tuesday night. Daddy was late getting home, kids were tired (and so was momma!). Walls are barren, floors stacked with boxes. It’s hard to want to do the normal things, like light the candle for dinner, cut the fresh blooms from the zinnias the kids gave me for my 30th. But in the midst of the transition and the mix of emotions, it helps to keep some things normal. The silly things that seem a waste of time and energy: they are the things that sort of keep me sane right now.

A little beauty and a little normalcy go a long way when nothing feels normal! So here’s to holding onto home, when home is being redefined.

Longing for Home

July 29, 2014July 29, 2014 MarthaKimball2 Comments

I packed the first closet today. An ugly stack of boxes is now in plain sight against one of our walls, a constant reminder to me of the chore and the change ahead of us.

Our landlord told us a few days ago that we would need to be moving out by the end of September so her parents, relocating from Switzerland, can move in. We have called this place home for 4 years now, the longest we have ever stayed in one spot. Our time in this house has certainly had its ups and downs (read: major mold infestation last summer, massive rattlesnakes + copperheads), but these four walls have held the sweetest memories of our lives.

Both of my babies have come home from the hospital in the dead frigid cold of December to these walls. To this wood stove crackling every day with heat. It’s hard for me to imagine bringing home baby number 3 to any other place, especially a totally as-of-yet-unknown place.

Maybe it’s just pregnancy and all the accompanying hormones (yay for those!), maybe it’s just because I have a hard time letting anything go. But it’s painful to pull out boxes, to take pictures and paintings quietly off walls and wrap them, tuck them away. Pulling down memories, tucking them away.

Maybe it’s because my nesting urges are just starting to kick in, and we’re having to fly the nest. Maybe it’s because a sense of place is so important to me, a sense of home, and I don’t have the energy right now to start over. Or, let’s be honest, I just don’t want to.

Whatever “it” is, I almost can’t talk about it because I’m just really sad. And I’m okay with that. It’s wouldn’t be human for me not to be sad.

In the midst of that, God gave me words immediately to meditate on and keep always before me in these coming weeks.

He is so faithful. I am confident He is going before us and opening the way before us, and that He will provide a peaceful, secure home for us. It may not have the crazy good view this home has, or the seclusion and privacy. It may not have the space to garden, or that third bedroom for baby girl. It may not have all the glorious sunlight we get all day long in this home. It can’t possibly have neighbors as great as the ones next door to us here who have been our adopted grandparents.

But it will be the place of His choosing. And He is our home, our lives are hidden away in Him, found in Him, unshakeably secure in Him.

And while others around the world are holding loved ones dying from Ebola, dying in the bombings in Hamas, dying from an unexpected allergic reaction to yellow jackets, I have all my loved ones here.

I’m reminded that our “suffering” is so very mild. We have so much to be thankful for, even in this. We have each other. We are healthy and able-bodied and we get to do the adventure of life together. We have Jesus, and He is enough.

We have His promises:

He will never leave us, nor forsake us {Heb. 13:5}.
He will go before us and guide us, and be our rear guard {Deut. 31:8}.
He will keep His hand upon us {Psa. 139:5}.
He will provide for all our needs {Phil. 4:19}.
Even the sparrow finds a home at His altar {Psa. 84:3}, and if He cares for the sparrows, how much more does He care for us {Matt. 6:26}?
And every sense of longing for home always reveals to us our deeper long for Home with Him, in that far country, in that city whose builder and maker is God {Heb.11:10, 16}.

In all things, I have a reason to sing.

Counting His graces

July 22, 2014 MarthaKimball1 Comment

“The initial step for a soul to come to knowledge of God is contemplation of nature.”
{Irenaeus}

“Some people, in order to discover God, read books. But there is a great book: the very appearance of created things. Look above you! Look below you! Read it. God, whom you want to discover, never wrote that book with ink. Instead He set before your eyes the things that He had made. Can you ask for a louder voice than that?”
{St. Augustine}

“Christ wears ‘two shoes’ in the world: Scripture and nature. Both are necessary to understand the Lord, and at no stage can creation be seen as a separation of things from God.”
{John Scottus Eriugena}

“Nature is schoolmistress, the soul the pupil; and whatever one has taught or the other has learned has come from God–the Teacher of the teacher.”
{Tertullian}

“The whole earth is a living icon of the face of God.”
{St. John of Damascus}

“I see You in the field of stars
I see You in the yield of the land
In every breath and sound, a blade of grass, a simple flower,
An echo of Your holy Name.”
{Abraham Ibn Ezra}

“See that I am God. See that I am in everything. See that I do everything.
See that I have never stopped ordering my works, nor ever shall, eternally.
See that I lead everything on to the conclusion I ordained for it before time began,
by the same power, wisdom and love with which I made it.
How can anything be amiss?”
{Julian of Norwich}

“I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you the clear remembrance of the Creator.”
{Basil the Great}

“Everywhere windows and gates, and I did not know it. No.
I have known it and I have forgotten it and I remember it again.”
{Ann Voskamp}

Sometimes a hard week calls for the rest of soul that comes from escaping into the wild for a bit. Going where only the sound of wind, and birds, buzzing bees, and hushed voices live.

Leaving behind the busy world and going where your soul can grow a size or two,
expanding and remembering that we live to collect moments, not things.

And in these moments, ordinary, simple, we find we are counting His gifts.

“Counting His graces makes all moments into one holy kiss of communion
and communion comes in the common.
He will break bread and I will take and the world is His feast!”
{Ann Voskamp}

Going where the voice of man is quieted, absent almost. And the voice of God is amplified.
Looking into what He has made and seeing how His invisible qualities are written over each one {Rom.1:20}, how the expanse of sky is declaring His glory {Ps. 19:1}.

This is what brings rest to our souls on the Sabbath: the coupling of the Word of God spoken over us, the quiet expanse of the Creation singing over us.

surrendering to the seasons

July 18, 2014July 18, 2014 MarthaKimball1 Comment

This week finds us laid low at home with a nasty head cold. The kids and I have been fighting low fevers, runny noses and sore throats all week, not to mention the fatigue and bad attitudes that easily accompany such symptoms. We’ve pretty much stayed home all week, surrendering to the rhythm of what God has given this week, and all the copious opportunities for sanctification that have resulted. This rainy, dreary Friday finds my soul rainy and downcast as well. The hard work of parenting has truly bowled me over a bit this week. Bombs and airplanes have exploded in the skies in the world this week, and in our little home, words and tempers have flared hot as well.

Rain drips in steady streams from the awning outside the window. I can’t help but feel God’s heart weeping too. Weeping over angry words, thoughtless hands, grumbling hearts. Weeping over the sin in us. The sin in the four walls of this house, the sin in the angry bombings in Israel, the sin in the pulsing, beating chambers held within my frail flesh.

It’s summer here in these blue mountains, and the vast field in front of our home is full of ripening blackberries. Brandon was out in the foggy, dusky morning, picking for an hour or so. And though I can hardly muster the energy to do it, I gather the kids together this morning to take what God has given and to make something of it. To make something together. To tie on apron strings and pray for family ties to bind together. To pour flour and sugar and butter in a bowl and put our six hands together in the mess of it, and pray for something beautiful and tasteful to be produced by these hands, instead of hurt we are so easily capable of. To place the elements together in one dish into the heat, and to pray for something better to come out of it, as a result.

“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.” {Eccl. 3:1}

It’s hard to surrender to the seasons. I want only good days. Only summer-sun-fruit-producing days. Only laughter and comfort and love. But God has demonstrated His wisdom in the use of seasons. There is a time for every season, a time for planting and waiting and hoping for fruit. A time for harvesting and enjoying an overwhelming abundance. A time for the earth to freeze as hard as iron and for all to appear dead forever. A time to long for the signs of life, and a time to long for that first wisp of snow that closes us up in our homes with books, crackling fires and all things pumpkin. It would be iron pride in me that would demand to produce all the time and never allow the field to lie fallow. As much as I want to always keep the same pace in our home, the same happy, busy pace, I have heard the Lord calling me every day this week to surrender to the season of this week, which has consisted of wiping noses, holding feverish children, reading books and taking naps. It has meant surrendering to seeing more of the interior walls of our home than playing out in the sun. It has meant seeing more of the interior of our hearts, than the busyness that often proves to mask the issues bubbling underneath. It has meant fighting the gloominess that easily descends over my heart in a week like this, and looking for the grace and the gift hidden in the bitter.

In all things, in all things, give thanks. {1 Thess. 5:18}

I will bless the Lord at all times, His praise shall continually be in my mouth. {Psa. 34:1}

The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knows those who trust in Him.
{Nahum 1:7}

The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works. {Psa. 145:9}

In God’s economy, life and death are both a part. Life always comes from death. It’s His sure promise. That’s how we can have rejoicing in the sorrow, because we know every form of death has been overcome, and a season of life, in due time, is coming. Tender mercy is hovering over death. That is how I can find joy even in a week where the days have ended in hot tears and hot baths. I must be willing to embrace every small death He gives if I want to see new life. I must surrender to the seasons.

And He has made everything beautiful in its time. {Eccl. 3:11}

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