motherhood – Page 4 – everything He gives

Learning about Prayer

November 4, 2014November 4, 2014 MarthaKimballLeave a comment

Lately this sweet little one has had a renewed interest in praying. For a while she hasn’t wanted to pray when we’ve asked her to, and we haven’t pushed it. Recently she’s been spontaneously praying throughout the day or asking to pray at meals or bed time. Her prayers are so sweet, so profound even though she has no intention of being profound. Often she asks the Lord to help her obey, thanks Him for the wonderful life He’s given us.

I recently received this child’s book to review and it seemed appropriate to dig into it this week with my daughter. It is part of an “interactive, fun-filled series that uses a train locomotive theme as a method for teaching kids core Christian beliefs and principles.” Some of the other books in the series cover basic theological topics such as baptism, church, faith, grace, salvation, worship, etc. The series is inspired by the familiar scripture in Proverbs:

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6).

Naturally, the book and the accompanying CD start off with the child’s song “Get on Board, Little Children.” We listened to the whole book on CD as we turned pages and then listened to many sweet children’s bible songs about prayer sung by a chorus of children.

My little one enjoyed the book but kept asking who the children were, what their names were. I think it was maybe difficult for her to connect with it since it wasn’t written in story form but more conceptually. I’m not sure what the target age is for this series but it would probably make a great homeschooling resource or supplement to bible study time with kids who are early elementary aged. The book ends with a simple quiz about the concepts covered. I thought it was a sweet, easy-to-use resource that we will return to. And we will definitely listen to the CD as well!

What strikes me is how naturally prayer comes to children. How they don’t try to dissect and understand prayer, but rather just talk with their heavenly Father, sharing the ramblings of their little hearts. How much we can learn from them about prayer!

* * * * *

Tyndale House Publishers sent me a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. My review is not required to be favorable, and the opinions expressed are my own.

Savoring the End

October 31, 2014October 31, 2014 MarthaKimball2 Comments

Well, it’s the last day of this writing challenge/series! I have really enjoyed it, and it has definitely been a challenge. Here are a few things I learned along the way:

1. Blogging every day can make it a challenge to savor the present moment. Whew! Did it ever. This month has felt like the busiest October we’ve ever had, when my whole objective was to slow down and savor it before the busy (or just crazy?) newborn phase arrives. However, it just so happened that this month I’ve been doing the bulk of the work of getting set up for baby, while juggling a few other responsibilities and also dealing with end-of-pregnancy insomnia and anxiety. It was a challenge most days to find time to blog when the kids weren’t around, and usually that happens during afternoon naps. Which is hard, because nap time also happens to be my lowest/most exhausted time of the day. And some days I just plain didn’t have anything to say. It was a challenge to be real and actually spend time savoring the moment instead of trying to keep up with the blog. Most likely, blogging every day is not ever going to be my jam. 🙂 But it was fun for a month!

2. The challenge to think about “savoring” every day helped force me to savor more. I guess professional bloggers, which I am not (hah), plan their content ahead of time and write posts in advance with scheduled postings. That’s all well and good, but for me, the reason I actually took on this challenge was to literally walk each day through without a plan for how to savor or what I was going to blog about. Instead I wanted to be sensitive to God’s leading and to listen for Him and to journey through the process of savoring it all. I didn’t come to this series with something to teach, but as a learner wanting to be open with others about what God was teaching me. So, even though taking on the commitment to blog every day in some ways filled up my days with just one more activity to potentially distract me, it also forced me to be thinking constantly and intentionally about savoring. About what it means to receive all things, each day from the Lord.

3. Writing every day encourages a lot less self-editing and posturing. Because I didn’t (don’t) have a lot of time to write, I found myself posting more freely. Writing more freely, self-editing less, and just being more vulnerable instead of over-analyzing. It has been really freeing and in many ways has made me braver in writing!

4. Savoring the good is good, but savoring the hard is essential. This is the big one, huh?! I had so much I wanted to write more on this but honestly just didn’t have the time or energy to devote to it. Of course it’s easy to delight in the fun, happy days where we’re visiting orchards, eating pumpkin everything, playing in the leaves, snuggling by the fire.

But what do you do with the days where nothing goes right?
The days where your 3-year-old fights you and argues with every single thing you say all day long?
The days when you’re so sleep-deprived and anxiety ridden you spend most of the day crying?
The days when your soul is just blue?
The days when you have ugly fights with your husband?

Yeah, all those days happened during this month, too. What does it look like to delight in those days? Is that a ridiculous thing to even consider? I thought often of what Job said: “Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” (Job 2:10). To live with open hands means to receive whatever God gives and to find a way to see His hand of good in it. To hunt for glory in it.

When nothing goes right, to remember that He is in control, not me.
The days when it seems your 3-year old is against you teach you how tiring it is to have a child who will not trust your wisdom and love as a parent. It can force you to repent of this sin that you yourself commit against God every day, and to thank Him for being such a merciful Father to you in your weakness, to ask Him to help you to extend that kind of grace to your own child.
When you are anxiety-ridden and exhausted, to say no to a few more things, hold loose the day’s plans, and practice casting all your cares on Him, because He cares for you.
When your soul is just blue, to just quiet and to listen for Him and to hold onto Him through it.
When you have ugly fights, to remember how sanctifying marriage can be. That God uses our failures to bring us to repentance and humility. That failure can be a place where the enemy gloats over our defeat and accuses us, or it can be a place of repentance and treasuring Jesus who foreknew our wickedness, paid for it in full, and washes us clean when we confess our sins to Him (1 John 1:9). What a Savior.

This is how we can practice delighting in whatever God gives. Whatever the day brings. We have no control over what comes to us, but we can choose how we respond to it. We can choose how we look at it, how we behold, and we know that whatever our eyes are fixed on we begin to resemble (Matt. 6:22-23). So we fix our eyes on Jesus, the author + perfecter of our faith (Heb.12:2) and how He looked toward the suffering He faced, and we trust that as we gaze on Him, and gaze on Him, and keep gazing on Him, God transforms us steadily into His same image, the image of His Son (2 Cor. 3:18).

So that wraps up this series! Here’s one little family picture of us from this month:

Happy Fall, folks! Thanks for reading along, and I hope some of you new readers will stick around + continue with me in the journey of savoring everything He gives.

Savoring These Two

October 30, 2014October 30, 2014 MarthaKimball1 Comment

So we are just one day away from wrapping up this 31 day series. Often throughout this past month, I have been reflecting on and just enjoying these two little lambs. They change and grow so quickly, and I don’t write down their little stages and idiosyncrasies often enough. It has been a sweet thing, just being a little family of four and seeing the friendship grow between these two. They are usually pretty inseparable and love to do most things together.

Noah is almost two. He is talking up a storm, and repeats a lot of what we say. He loves anything to do with trucks, tractors, airplanes, trains, and firetrucks. I love how when he sees something or wants to say something, it’s almost always directed at me. “A truck, momma!” “See a car, momma.” “All done, momma.” (Although in my weary moments, it can be exhausting, it is the sweetest thing ever to be the one he wants to share everything with. I hope it never changes.) He is just beginning to really love books, and now brings me books to read to him and says, “Gook, momma.” (He never used to sit still long enough.) His favorite is a board book we have that has 100 first words, and he wants to “read” it at least five times a day, which entails me having him find things in it or tell me the word for the picture. He loves “spiky hair” in the bath that Daddy gives him. Daddy whips it up into two spikes and he smacks it down, squealing and laughing. He loves music more than even Phoebe I think, and breaks out dancing as soon as we turn it on. His favorite songs to sing at night before bed are “Jesus” (Jesus loves me) and “Ka-kee-us” (Zacchaeus was a Wee Little Man) and “David” (Only a Boy Named David). When we ask him what he’s thankful for each night, it’s almost always “Jesus.” After his bath and jammies are on he comes running for me down the hall saying “momma, momma, momma” and then shows me his clean snuggly self and just jumps up and down around the room. When he’s thirsty he says, “water, me,” so I call him my little plant. Lately he loves to lay down and drive his cars slowly back and forth, staring closely at the wheels and looking at how they work. Yogurt is “whoa-gurt.” He comes up to me often out of the blue and says “I la lu tooo, momma.” He is obsessed with his blankie (“Dee-dee”) and always has to chew it. One of his happiest moments is when I say in the morning “Ok guys, shoes on.” He screams with arms in the air “Shoes on!” and runs downstairs for his shoes. He’s pretty shy with new people and other kids, but he’s starting to warm up more to others. He seems to be understanding that a baby is in my tummy and he sits on my lap, facing my tummy, poking it and talking to the baby. He’s starting to love saying hi to people when we’re out, realizing often people will talk back to him. He shoots his hand straight out like he’s jabbing them and says “Hey dare.” (Hey there).

Phoebe is almost four. She loves wearing dresses, and changing outfits at least ten times a day. Half they time she’s just running around half naked in between “costume” changes. She loves to dress up in her tutu’s, or be “the bride,” or “Laura (from Little House on the Prairie).” She could read books all day long if you would read to her. Pretty much, if you sit down for more than thirty seconds, she will run to your lap with a book for you to read to her. She loves to play with Noah probably more than he needs to play with her and is always scampering around to see what he’s up to. And often pestering him, though she usually doesn’t mean to. She loves to sing, often her own renditions of things like “If you’re happy, then you know it, clap your hands.” She loves being outside, jumping on the trampoline, riding her trike or scooter, playing at the park, and going for walks. She’s starting to be really interested in bugs and getting up close to examine them. She loves when you play Doctor with her (she usually only wants to be the patient). And she cannot wait to have another little baby in the house to hold and help mommie with.

I know that when baby girl comes, our “normal” will be thrown for a loop for a bit, but then we won’t be able to remember what it was like before she was a part of things. It’s good for me to find things to look forward to in the next season so that saying goodbye to this one is easier. It’ll be so fun to see Noah get to be the big brother. And to see what Phoebe is like with a sister we can dress up, a real, live doll.

As this month closes and we are almost all ready for baby girl to come, I’m looking forward to slowing down the busy rushing and just enjoy and snuggle on these two kiddos a whole lot.

Finish the Day

October 28, 2014 MarthaKimball1 Comment

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

(Borrowed this quote from this lovely blog, a good word for the late end of this day.)

How to Turn a Bent Soul

October 27, 2014October 27, 2014 MarthaKimball1 Comment

If anyone needs to pray, a momma needs to pray! But the weary days.. the discouraging days.. the days when your brain is so fried trying to multitask 173 different things at once and answer the children’s incessant questions. Kindly.

How to pray? What to pray? Often throughout the day, many of us shoot up our thoughts, our ramblings, our pleadings, our worries to the Lord, talking with Him over everything. And we know He gladly hears + receives these prayers, as we know He tells us in Psalm 62:8 to pour out our hearts before Him because our God is a refuge for us.

Maybe like me, many of you struggle with prayer. You can find time to fit other disciplines into your day, but taking time just to sit and do nothing but talk over specific needs and desires with the Father? It feels like an unjustifiable luxury (especially in light of the dishes waiting to be washed, the laundry that needs folding). It is hard to quiet our busy souls, our busy minds, and to feel allowed to sit before Him in stillness and pour out our hearts.

But sometimes we need help. Sometimes we don’t know what to pray. Sometimes we don’t have a lot of time to pray, just minutes squeezed in while we wait in the school pick-up line, or the line at the grocery store, for pete’s sake! It’s times like these that we can learn to lean on the prayers of others, the words of others that may give expression to the groaning of our own souls.

This little book is a sweet companion for mothers. It is small (and light) enough to fit easily in your purse and have with you or simply to keep it tucked in a spot where you can turn to it daily for help and encouragement. There is a topical prayer for each day, ending with scripture, enabling you to journey through the prayers each day of the year. Or you can flip through the topical index in the back to find words for the particular struggle or need, with topics such as fear, anger, conflict, comparison, marriage, money, guilt, regret, worship, etc. I have found it to help me to pray more specifically for myself and for my children. I am also finding myself turning to it at a particular time each day when my soul is most distracted, and turning my thoughts and words back onto the Lord. Maybe I’m the only one, but I find my soul naturally bends away from God in the course of the day. Prayer is such a mystery to me, how it works, even (dare I say it) if it works, or if “working” is even the goal of prayer. But maybe “turning” is what prayer is about. Turning again to the Lord. Turning back to Him. Turning over to Him what we are wringing our hands over. Turning back what has bent away. Re-turning.

“For thus says the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: “In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.” {Isaiah 30:15}

I would highly recommend it to all the mommas looking for a small and simple prayer help! It would also make a lovely gift for a new momma.

“Therefore let us confidently approach the throne of grace to receive mercy and find grace whenever we need help.” {Hebrews 4:!6}

* * * * *
*Tyndale House Publishers has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. I am not required to present a favorable review of the book and the opinions expressed are my own.

Brown Paper Packages

October 21, 2014October 21, 2014 MarthaKimball1 Comment

This week I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed with all the work that needs to be done to be ready for baby to come. There is the normal work of the household, the slow and steady process of unpacking/settling in from our recent move, and then the work of preparing a space for the new baby as well. Pregnancy insomnia has set in a bit as well, so exhaustion during the day and being up in the night mulling over tasks and to-do’s.. not super helpful. Needless to say, we needed to be H O M E today and momma needed to get some work done. Already, I feel better. Just seeing the car seat installed, baby clothes being rummaged out of tuperwares, and a few meals beginning to accumulate in the freezer is a big mental help.

The little ones love morning outings, so the announcement that “we will be home doing things around the house” was met with the usual weeping and gnashing of teeth. Such days call for intentionality, for pulling out some fun crafts and activities normally reserved for rainy/stuck-at-home days.

We received the sweetest package in the mail yesterday from one of the children’s dearly-beloved aunties. Such perfect timing. I pulled it out this morning and their delight over it all was precious. Each had received a goodie bag of raisins and snack bars, piles of stickers, a pop-up book, halloween window decals (stickers that go on the window?? Can life get better?), as well as a sweet note and some spending money for fun fall activities. Even baby girl was included {the most adorable onesie}!

So today we’re savoring the simple joys of brown paper packages + the ordinary fun we can have at home.

Rhythms

October 16, 2014October 16, 2014 MarthaKimball1 Comment

In our photo-saturated day, taking pictures can get a bad rap. “Be present,” they urge. “Put down your camera and enjoy this moment.” And there are times to leave the camera behind. Times to rest and just soak and to see. But I have learned that for me, snapping pictures helps me see. Helps me notice. Like a glory-hunter, seeking the beauty in the dreary and ordinary. Going out with my camera, with expectation to find gifts. I learned this some time ago from Ann Voskamp, how she numbered gifts with her camera, framing the moments. Every frame captures a moment, a mili-second of time never to be repeated. The way after breakfast, they clamber up onto the couch to read books. On tiptoes at the window to see the garbage truck on Thursday mornings. The simple beauty of flour, butter, water, and yeast bubbling in a bowl. The way they run to help whenever they see me drag the stool into the kitchen. That little gap between his front teeth. The girl on her trike, far too small for her now, but still her favorite. The way she turns to see if I am watching. Always looking to see if I see her. I do, baby girl, I see you. The scraggly wild berries and flowers growing alongside the riverbank. Ordinary, common. Beautiful. Hot steaming loaves pulled from the oven, and the way that nothing smells as good as fresh bread at home after wind whipped cheeks and frozen fingers.

Rhythms. Rhythms of these days. Simple. Small. Barely noticeable. Easily forgotten. I don’t want to miss it. I don’t want to forget. I want to give thanks, capture the moments, hands full of memories and moments to hold out to Him and praise Him for. I love this season, I love these rhythms, Lord. Costly. Often painful. Sometimes downright boring. But precious. Worthy. Heavy with the weight of glory.

One Month From Today

October 16, 2014 MarthaKimball1 Comment

We can’t wait to meet you, baby.

The Measure of Success

October 15, 2014October 15, 2014 MarthaKimball5 Comments

The day reaches its end, a good day, yet the weariness is still there. The pots and pans are scrubbed, leftovers tucked away. The children, too, are scrubbed and tucked away. Only the blowing wind, the rain pattering on the sill, the occasional rumble of thunder now.

How do we measure our days? How does my soul measure the fruitfulness of a day? These thoughts weigh on my mind as I turn on the faucet and let the hot water beat on my skin. The days end, a good day, yet I feel that I didn’t accomplish enough. I didn’t get to this or that. Pictures still wait to be hung on our walls here, piles of clutter still wait to be organized. For heaven’s sake, I have nothing ready for the baby coming in just a few weeks. I groan inwardly as I think of all that needs to be done. Hospital bags packed, baby clothes pulled out and washed and organized, freezer stocked with meals. Carving out and setting up a little space for this little life that is coming. My social media outlets are filling up with news and pictures of all my friends and family that were due ahead of us, each one welcoming a baby. Each a reminder that soon it will be our turn.

So much left to do, and my heart feels unprepared. So many people have given us words of woe about the transition from 2 to 3 children, and I groan every time. Really? So few encourage or speak words of strength. I need the borrowed strength right now, I think. It seems my preparations have been mostly around labor this time, trying to fight back the fears and worries of a repeat of what happened at Noah’s birth. {A baby in distress, taken from me right at birth due to swallowed meconium, while my body experienced its own trauma from a broken/separated pelvis and postpartum hemorrhage. Not to mention a very slow and complicated recovery.} How to prepare my heart and mind for the adjustments that are to come?

All I want to do is savor this season a little longer, this time as a family of four, before we transition and never pass this way again.

Then these words via Ann Voskamp’s blog today:

“The thing I know most about seasons — is that God made them to change. And it is in the passing through them, the move from one season to the next, that true beauty is brought forth.” {Laura Boggess}

It makes me think about labor, just one kind of passing from one season to the next. All that comes when that baby comes, all the unknowns and questions and uncertainties, all the newness all over again. I want to resist the change and the fears surrounding the unknowns. But true beauty is brought forth in the passing. The letting go, the welcoming what is to come, whatever it is. Trusting, surrendering to this wild and untamable yet good God who is most certainly more intent on my conformity to Christ than my comfort, my holiness rather than my happiness. {Why again is surrender so hard, so daily?}

And so I look back over the day.. what is the measure of my days, Lord? What is the measure of success? Is it every task crossed off the list? Is it what my hands can accomplish that makes me feel worthy, worthy of having been given another day breathing air? Why is this always what my soul comes back to? Like a dog returns to its vomit, why do I return over and over the stinking pile of guilt and shame? If I feel this way now, how will I feel in a few weeks when I am totally unable to lift a finger to accomplish much around here besides feeding, swaddling, changing a newborn? What do you say, Lord?

“When the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us not by works of righteousness that we have done but on the basis of His mercy, through the washing of the new birth and the renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us in full measure through Jesus Christ our Savior. And so, since we have been justified by His grace, we become heirs with the confident expectation of eternal life.” {Titus 3:4-7 NET}

The passage goes on to exhort the readers to good works, because of the example of the Good Work that Christ did for us, and because our good works are profitable for others. Ahh yes, this balance again. The Lord’s gentle grace whispered again:

“My child, it isn’t what you do that can ever attain worthiness. You cannot measure yourself or your days by the works of your hands. You must rest in what I have done for you, what I have accomplished, what I finished. I have made you worthy. And yet, yes, you must work, there is much work I have for you. The work of love, of likewise pouring out your life. The work of kindness and ministering grace and reconciliation to all that I put before you. The work of the mundane tasks and necessary preparations in each day. These things are the practical avenues through which you can show love. And of course, you fail and grow faint and weary. But I am your God, your Creator, the One who formed you. I remember that you are dust. Come to me, let me pour out grace afresh. Let me restore and renew.”

I think of the words I studied in the Gospels this morning: Come to me like a child. I watch my daughter dance amidst the mess of toys, the unpacked boxes, the unhung pictures, the scattered books. Unhindered, unhurried. Delighting in being delighted in. Lord, let me be the daughter who dances freely and lightly in the unforced rhythms of grace.

Help me to “be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the length and width, height and depth of God’s love, and to know the Messiah’s love that surpasses knowledge.” {Eph. 3:17-19} To measure the immeasurable love of Christ for me.

Happy Friday!

October 10, 2014 MarthaKimball1 Comment

We love Fridays.. Hope yours is happy too!

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